Move on Or Stay?

Question:  My partner and I don’t seem to connect anymore. What should/can I can do, or is it just time to move on/leave?

Frank’s Answer:  It’s too easy to only blame the other person. A better way to approach this is to look at if you are happy with who you are being in the relationship? If yes, then you need to get clear if both your paths are still aligned. I find values a strong predictor of relationship success. Not carbon copy values, but enough commonalities so you feel you share similar views on life’s major areas. At least have respect for each other.

If respect is gone and resentment has settled in and you no longer have more good times than bad, then re-evaluate if this fits YOUR minimum relationship expectations (what you would minimally want in a new partner). If not, being single (a little lonely at first but also excitement of potential new mate) is always better than in a bad relationship (feeling alone with a partner).

Communication is key here, you want to explore the topic in a courageously authentic fashion so you are transparent and are not holding any important facts or feelings back from your partner. Once you take responsibility for your inputs of the relationship and communicate clearly, then the right decision will become clearer. Until honest dialogue happens both partners may be operating from false/mistaken assumptions about the other. Clarity brings conscious choice.

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