Avoiding the Dating Games

Question: “Everyone is playing games dating, I don’t even know the rules! Help!”

Frank’s Answer:  This may or may not be true, if you think it is true then IT IS for you, and you need to change your perspective (via reframing). This is a so-called global belief, like “All___ x people are like ____”. This comment definitely comes from a place of lack as in, “there are no good people left”. The universe is abundant. The fact that you mention rules suggests you are looking for a way to successfully deal with the frustration of inauthenticity and deception going on. The fact these “games” bother you suggests you are a person of integrity and honesty, which are great values.

The only thing you can control is who YOU are being and how you see and do things, nothing else (you don’t control the weather, economy, your boss, your partner etc.). The definition of suffering is trying to control people or other things outside ourselves. I would begin by realizing that any global statement like the one above is rarely true because there are so many different (abundance) people out there. The fact is in terms of the Law of Attraction, Like attracts Like. By having minimum standards of conduct (essentially loving and valuing yourself) you will naturally not put up with such gamesmanship and will attract higher quality people. If someone is acting in a way that is out of integrity you could call them on it or decide that those aren’t the type of games you want to play and stick to it. Maybe change the environments you are meeting a certain “type” of person if you see patterns repeating. Always realize we choose what we tolerate and can change.

 

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