“Why Wait Until They Die?”

Happy Halloween to everyone! May that be the only day a year you wear a mask of inauthenticity!

As I was at the gym this week I saw a funeral on television. As the procession advanced, the commentators were piling on the positive achievements and community impact of the gentleman in question.

It occurred to me that many people save all the great things they should tell others for after the person’s death. Now I know this may seem a little extreme, but really, is it?

Other than graduations, weddings and major career promotions, when do we tell the important people around us how much they mean to us? How often do we allow are ego (fear) stop us from telling our loved ones, friends and business partners how important they are in our lives and how amazing they are. I’ve been on this wavelength lately,

I’ve become quite complimentary and upbeat with EVERYONE I meet. From the gentleman and ladies who dutifully clean the lobby every morning as I go for a run. To anyone at any store I go to, anyone in the elevator, people are everywhere and I make it my duty to leave them somehow more joyful and appreciated. Don’t think for a second I am only doing it for them as I get just as much or more out of it than they do.

It’s astonishing (and so sad) how few people actually do walk through life in pure joy and appreciation (children and pets excluded as they know how and chose to feel good all the time).

These vibrations (joy/love/empowerment/freedom/appreciation) are #1 at the top of the emotional scale.

By feeling that good (not waiting for “good” things to happen to you before you are joyful) all the time you attract people, experiences and events that feel that good, this creates a “virtuous” circle. That is all you need to remember to tap into the most senior of all physical laws: the Law of Attraction. The same way the Law of Lift Supercedes the Law of Gravity (otherwise birds and planes wouldn’t fly!), whether you believe in the LoA or not doesn’t change that it works. The same way you don’t need to believe in gravity for it to work.

I dare you this week to shine a ray of sunshine and joy on everyone you meet, you will make their day. You may also make your own!

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“It’s Off My Radar Screen”

If we liken our lives and events in our lives as all occurring on a large 100 meter (300 feet) radius. Our visibility at any time is like a fog-induced 10 foot radius around us.

This is important as we all know hindsight is 20/20. How many times do you look back at events in your life and see that something/someone completely unseen and unplanned came into your life (on your radar) and created a chain event that transformed your life path completely.

The event was “off your radar” but found its way to you because of the vibration you were putting out to the universe. Thoughts are vibrational energy and bring people and events into your radar from “off your radar”. These are far from “random” events, you attracted them with your thoughts. Remember, we become and experience what we think of most of the time.

How to use this:  Most people spend their lives worrying about what is in the 10 feet around them, (on their radar). They see career/work problems, relationship issues, health concerns, etcetera, etcetera. This attracts more issues, people and circumstances that match worry/fear.  A better approach would be to say and believe, “Right now I can’t see how X will be resolved, it’s off my radar, but I know a solution will come!”

This is powerful because a) it makes you feel better,  which attracts what you want, b) it allows you to believe the world is benevolent (not fearful) and will bring you the best, so you are happier which brings more great things.

I urge you to begin admitting you HAVE NO/ZERO idea what’s coming, it’s off your radar.

Here’s an example from my life. Two weeks ago a very important person to create my success was very much unknown to me, off my radar. I went out on a Saturday night on a feeling I had to go out even though I was comfy on the couch with my love. We met an amazing couple we are having lunch with this weekend. The gentleman was a powerful business person from Dubai franchising businesses here in North America. He referred me to someone who really “gets” what I am all about and has a burning desire to help me succeed. Not only that he is an amazing person that I really like. I’ll tell you more about him soon.

You and I are not that smart that we know what is coming, even if you can’t see how something will work out, keep the faith (#4 on the ES), a solution is on your radar screen of you are feeling good. Your only job: feel good all the time.

Additionally, if you are looking for an opportunity that allows you to learn and share great information like this, we should talk, I am surrounded by some amazingly helpful people.

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“Why do I keep dating the wrong (for me) people?”

Question: “Why do I keep dating the wrong (for me) people?”    James K.

Frank’s Answer: Thanks for the question James! To better answer this I need to define “dating”. If it means 1) first dates or if it means 2) spending a few months seeing a person?

If it is 1) (First Dates), then change the locations and activities where you keep meeting people. First dates should be very low expectation events, that way disappointment is minimized. The purpose of a first date is to determine chemistry and joint interests. As such if you are getting upset about first dates, maybe go on less of them and meet people doing what you do that you enjoy (hobbies, passions, sports, etc.). As much as location is a key determinant, I suspect your thoughts and vibration are the ones bringing in the “wrong” people in for you. The Law of Attraction (it is a law as is gravity and the speed of sound) says that all things vibrate at a certain frequency.

So it is impossible to attract a partner that is in “Joy, Love, Appreciation, Freedom, Empowerment (#1 on the Emotional Scale) if you are in “Frustration/Irritation/Impatience, as these are #10 on the Emotional Scale. Your question has a hint of desperation (even lower at #22 the bottom of the Emotional Scale). At those levels all the people you will attract are also desperate. Desperate + Desperate = More Desperate, or “WRONG” as you call it.

I suspect however that it is more 2) (Spending a few months together). In this case I suspect that standards or lack of them may be the culprit. Time is precious and determining that someone is wrong for you should be a simple affair if, and it’s a HUGE “if” you know WHO you are and WHAT you want in a partner. Many people don’t really know themselves, their values and minimum acceptable criteria. This is the equivalent of shopping at a grocery mega store with tasty foods (people that are cute but without similar values) without a clue of what you need at home (your relationship wants and needs). You get home with all these exciting (novelty for a few days candy relationship) groceries but have no satisfying sustaining foods (shared interests and values). You binge eat for a few days (date for a few months) then get sick and starve (have fights, break up and then get desperate and repeat and why “love” hurts, it’s not love).

Without knowing ourselves or what we really want, the signal we broadcast is completely confused and we get those results. Finding the “one” begins with finding ourselves, that’s the work but it can be fun!

Good luck James! Let us know how it goes.

Child-Like Authenticity = Inspiring Moments

As some of you regular readers know I have a dog called Riplee (Believe it or Not!). This week we were returning from the park and we were in the elevator. A woman and her lovely daughter who was about 4 years old got in the elevator.

As the door closed the daughter took fascinated interest in Riplee the following conversation happens:

Little girl:  As she pointed obviously at the black wart-like protrusion on Riplee’s head, in the cutest voice, What’s that black bump on his head?”

Her mother looked uncomfortable for a second until she saw me smile and laugh out loud. I was glad she didn’t admonish as others might have for this very direct question.

Me: Thrilled at her authenticity and blatant disregard for what is politically correct, I replied, “That’s a wart!”

Little girl: Very curious now, “Does it hurt him?”

Me:  “No, he’s older and it doesn’t hurt at all like when people have birth marks!”

We have much to learn from children in terms of their in-the-moment 100% curiosity and authenticity. She hadn’t been “programmed” yet to worry so much about what other people think and it made her absolutely real and irresistible in the process.

People are attracted to our humanity, our quirks and unique EVEN weird or mildly offensive character traits (don’t we all have a few of those?). Despite all the cultural pressures to conform to some rules or norms (whatever that means), we are almost magnetically attracted to people who are themselves. As a matter of fact, I feel being our real, authentic selves (warts and all) is our own unique superpower, no one is like us.

If you would like to learn all about tuning into your authenticity superpower, it’s all detailed in my latest book, “Live It! Your Courageously Authentic Life”. 

This week I challenge you to take some risks and be authentic, be present and curious. Be a zebra among horses, your experience will be life-changing and you will have a blast! (Joy, #1 on the ES).

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Appreciation: A Rampage of

The last few weeks have been quite wondrous for me and I am in appreciation of all that I am experiencing. I thought I’d share a few examples as appreciation is #1 on the Emotional Scale!

Peter Gabriel Music Concert:  Phenomenal sounds and visuals created an incredible soundscape of classics. This man is a musical genius.

Cirque Du Soleil Amaluna:  This was my first Cirque experience and I absolutely adored it. The ability of the performers is Olympic quality, the soundtrack uplifting and the coordination and flawless performance are a joy to behold. Worth every generous penny, sometimes premium is worth it.

Hy’s Steakhouse: My lovely partner took me to this steak house for my birthday last week, (September 24th). The food is devine, the décor classic upscale and the service is simply palatial. Being treated to a 5 star meal service is quite impressive. http://www.hyssteakhouse.com/

A Beautiful Wedding:  I was a groomsman at my best friend Chris Partridge married his love, Shannon McGregor at the Knollwood in Ancaster, Ontario. I’ve been to my fair share of weddings, this one was almost a spiritual event. The love of the family, friends and couple electrified the wedding. Beautiful and simple wedding ceremony and evening that focused on connections and love, wonderful memories and touching moments. From the M and M candies with their faces and dates, to walking Shannon’s dog down the aisle. Pictures taken by a photographer that cared, etc. Etc.

This is what you call a rampage of appreciation and it feels and sounds so good. I wish you to go on your own!

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