“Why do I keep dating the wrong (for me) people?”

Question: “Why do I keep dating the wrong (for me) people?”    James K.

Frank’s Answer: Thanks for the question James! To better answer this I need to define “dating”. If it means 1) first dates or if it means 2) spending a few months seeing a person?

If it is 1) (First Dates), then change the locations and activities where you keep meeting people. First dates should be very low expectation events, that way disappointment is minimized. The purpose of a first date is to determine chemistry and joint interests. As such if you are getting upset about first dates, maybe go on less of them and meet people doing what you do that you enjoy (hobbies, passions, sports, etc.). As much as location is a key determinant, I suspect your thoughts and vibration are the ones bringing in the “wrong” people in for you. The Law of Attraction (it is a law as is gravity and the speed of sound) says that all things vibrate at a certain frequency.

So it is impossible to attract a partner that is in “Joy, Love, Appreciation, Freedom, Empowerment (#1 on the Emotional Scale) if you are in “Frustration/Irritation/Impatience, as these are #10 on the Emotional Scale. Your question has a hint of desperation (even lower at #22 the bottom of the Emotional Scale). At those levels all the people you will attract are also desperate. Desperate + Desperate = More Desperate, or “WRONG” as you call it.

I suspect however that it is more 2) (Spending a few months together). In this case I suspect that standards or lack of them may be the culprit. Time is precious and determining that someone is wrong for you should be a simple affair if, and it’s a HUGE “if” you know WHO you are and WHAT you want in a partner. Many people don’t really know themselves, their values and minimum acceptable criteria. This is the equivalent of shopping at a grocery mega store with tasty foods (people that are cute but without similar values) without a clue of what you need at home (your relationship wants and needs). You get home with all these exciting (novelty for a few days candy relationship) groceries but have no satisfying sustaining foods (shared interests and values). You binge eat for a few days (date for a few months) then get sick and starve (have fights, break up and then get desperate and repeat and why “love” hurts, it’s not love).

Without knowing ourselves or what we really want, the signal we broadcast is completely confused and we get those results. Finding the “one” begins with finding ourselves, that’s the work but it can be fun!

Good luck James! Let us know how it goes.