Adversity Quotient: Separates the Successful from the Mediocre

As a college professor myself I am keenly aware of the fact  that all educational systems around the world do a very poor job preparing young  and not so young minds for the reality of the real world. In school we are taught that failure is bad and that one strive for perfectionism. I don’t teach this mumbo jumbo, as I realize that applied hands on skills and failure within a learning environment builds “ADVERSITY QUOTIENT”, or AQ. Also known as resilience.
What does the academic complex value? Safety and security in a job. Secular and technological innovation have made the security and safety of a job actually unsafe. Corporations (dinosaurs) are going through a hundred year cycle of adjustment as smaller, faster, nimbler and technologically proficient firms (mammals) are taking over.

How we handle challenges is whats separates the great from the also rans.
Here is the formula:

Adversity Quotient = IQ x EQ x WQ
IQ is the least important, as often the most intelligent aren’t open to learn (we don’t know what we don’t kinow : most dangerous blind spot). Minimum intelligence required is to create and follow ma game plan.EQ (Emotional Intelligence) is very important as it is how we deal with people and the interrelationships between us.
WQ (Willpower Quotient) is the most important as those who don’t quit get better and eventually win.

Success Formula: 1) What do you want and why, 2) What it costs, 3) Pay it!
A good Life coach can help.
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How to Build Confidence and Destroy Fear

From an incredible book i’m reading called: “The Magic of Thinking Big” , here are 5 Powerful ideas to begin replacing fear with confidence.
1. Action dissipates fear: Isolate your fear and then take constructive action. Doing nothing (inaction) about a situation – strengthens fear and destroys confidence.
2. Make a Supreme Effort to put only Positive thoughts in your memory banks. Don’t let self deprecatory thoughts grow into mental monsters. Simply choose to refuse to recall unpleasant events and/or situations.

3. Put People in Proper Perspective: Remember people are much more alike than they are different.Get a balanced view of others, they are just human beings. Develop an understanding attitude. Many people will bark, but it’s a rare one who bites.

4. Practice doing what your conscience tells you is right. This prevents a poisonous guilt complex  from developing. Doing what is right is a very practical rule for success.
5. Make everything about you say, “I’m confident, really confident.” Practice these little tricks in your day to day activities. a) In all presentations: always take the front seat, you will be more engaged, b) always make confident eye contact, c) Walk faster, it looks more dynamic and you feel better (successful folks have a spring in their step), d) Speak up and be heard e) Smile big, teeth must show, when you smile your mood improves.
6. Invest in a great life coach such as myself. Book your Free sample session! Email me
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“The Black Door”

This week I thought a short story and analogy would best summarize the decisions most people make between fear and freedom, they choose fear and its tragic.

In a far-off land there once was a general that captured a spy. The spy was to be killed by firing squad for the crimes he committed against the country.

As the firing squad was ready to implement its deadly duty the general went to privately speak to the spy.

The general said to the spy, “You have 2 options, 1) you can be killed by the firing squad or 2) you can choose to go through the black door.”

The spy hemmed and hawwed in agony at this final bit of torture. But he was already resigned to his death and said to the general “I choose the firing squad”

The firing squad did it’s grim task and fired and kill the spy. The general’s aid came up to the general and said to him, “General, what was behind the black door?”

The general replied, “Behind the black door was freedom. You see most people are more afraid of the unknown than anything else. What is known even if it is horrible and deadly is often better than the unknown for most people”

We get so comfortable in our lives even if they are toxic and deadly and painful to us we often choose to stay with the unacceptable rather than the unknown.

Instead of making choices to be free how many black doors to freedom have you ignored or chosen not to look for?

How much smaller is your life because of it?

I dare you to choose the unknown, push yourself try different things get out of your comfort zone just because it’s comfortable doesn’t mean it’s right it’s just familiar. if you need my help as a Life Coach, reach out.

Your life will thank you.

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The “Happiness Trap”

I have re-purposed and added from the brilliant book, “Rascal: Making A Difference Becoming an Original Character” by Chris Brady. Many people mistakenly believe that life is about an individual’s happiness.

 


The biggest trap is believing that happiness can be obtained by direct pursuit. The route most people take to pursue happiness is the seeking of pleasure.  We somehow think that by gaining enough pleasure we will be happy. But the pursuit of pleasure is a con job. It ends in an endless spiral of the pursuit of MORE. This is because pleasure in and by itself is not fulfilling (it should be an earned reward). As each thrill is experienced, we automatically seek and desire a bigger thrill, a higher high. We become desensitized to the pleasure and seek/want stronger stimulation next time.

With the above critical fundamental in mind, it is easy to understand our modern epidemic of addictions to EVERYTHING. It seems there are addictions to anything and everything these days, from the traditional alcohol, drugs, gambling and promiscuity to the more subtle but as destructive addictions to TV, media, shopping, coffee, social media, sloth, etc. At the root of everything is the same empty pursuit of pleasure and more pleasure (for it’s numbing qualities).


The other side is just empty. Many chase peace and tranquility in the hopes happiness will be found there. Alas this chase is just as empty! Why? In the land of peace and tranquility lies the disease of boredom. Idleness begets shallowness robbing us of confidence, courage, contribution and direction. A well earned vacation is a good thing however.
Happiness is always and only the byproduct of right and purposeful living in accordance with values that serve others and make a difference.

The previous information married with my new compensated community business building has helped me greatly focus my life in the pursuit of servant leadership to change others’ lives via life coaching. The side benefit has been a remarkable decrease in pleasure seeking behavior for its own sake. I highly recommend it. Drop me a line or email if you want to chat!

What will you pursue instead of pleasure? Is it big enough and impacts many, otherwise it won’t sustain.

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