Jeff

“I really love it, because I know every week I’m free to say whatever I want, and no matter how foolish I might think I look, I’ll get sincere, honest feedback that’ll make it okay that I talked about it. I’m learning a lot, it’s great, and I’m really glad I discovered this!”

Mike

“The men’s circle allows me to voice all my pent up thoughts and concerns to a group of men that I know will provide me with insight and advice that will not only solve current situations but prepare for the future as well. It also allows me to help those same men with their situations and in turns makes us all better by the end of each session.”

Jane

“Before I hired Frank as my mentor I was struggling at work Always feeling trapped and constrained trying to be proper and professional. Once we determined that I was actually a “zebra among horses” everything changed. I was promoted and my boss asked memo Specifically be the one that shakes things up and ask the tough questions. Frank’s probably one of the beat coaches there is – period. If you want dramatic results, he will get you there no matter what.                                          Jane, Public Sector

 

 

 

Brian

“I have been with this circle now for two months and it has been one of the most uplifting, positive, motivating experiences that I can remember. It is by far the best time and money I’ve ever spent. Frank is fantastic, positive, a great leader, inspirational, and the perfect coach and facilitator for this medium. I would recommend it to anyone who wants to take that next step in their life, bond with some great men, and have somewhere to go once a week where you can truly be your authentic self and grow with others in the process.”

Sean

“The circle, to me, is like coming back home after a long time away; back to who I am, wanted to be then, and still can be now. “Being a man”, said a poet, is “a lonely and austere office”. But in the circle, I am not alone.”

Elephant on the Menu? Sure! One Bite at a Time!

Every week the task (and pleasure) of writing this newsletter dawns on me. I am sometimes asked how do I find inspiration to write? This is a great question as so many people dream of writing some even dream of being a published author. I must be honest about 2/3 of the time it’s very easy as I have a topic in mind all week and it is a natural conduit to the newsletter. The other 1/3 of the time (like this week tbh!) it is more difficult (still doable but harder). I thought I’d share some of what has worked for me.

I found that my little inner voice aka STUMPS (Saboteur Trickster Most Pathetic Self) was less active (STOPPING ME) and when I said , “I will begin to write a book” and not “I will be an author” or “I will write a book and it will be great”.

Another example, If you have been thinking you want to run a half (13 miles/ 21 km) or full marathon (26 miles/42km) but you are not running now. The gap between not running at all might as well be the Grand Canyon! With this type of goal-setting you will lose interest and get discouraged quickly. A better (softer and less of a stretch) approach would be to say, “I’m starting to run and I commit to 3 times a week 2 km per run” (remember how to eat an elephant: one bite at a time!).

Once I had written my first book (Killing Yourself With Your Fork?) in 2009, my STUMPS had another run at me this time saying, “Yeah, you wrote a book but it’s not a REAL book, it’s not that good!”. They are nasty! Here’s how I resolved this more subtle but just as harming one. I reframed it! “I’m a great coach and speaker who writes books too!”, see how this is much softer and more accessible. We can choose what thoughts we put in our minds and change those we don’t like!

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