Assertiveness: Your Rights and Responsabilities

 Assertiveness: Your Rights and Responsabilities
To be assertive you need to believe in both a) your individual rights and b) the rights of others. This balance is shown below, rights are standard  and responsabilities italics. As you read these, check statements that make you uncomfortable or which DO NOT reflect your normal behavior. This is from the United Nations.
If you are not assertive memorize the 1st ones, if you are aggressive memorize the 2nd ones.
  • I have the right to be treated with dignity and respect.
        I have the responsability to treat others with the same dignity and respect I desire from them.
  • I have the right to decide what is best for me.
         I have the responsability to allow others to decide what is best for them.
  • I have the right to have and express my own feelings and opinions.
        I have the responsabilty to express those feelings and opinions in a way that does not insult or put others down.
  • I have the right to ask for what I want and need.
        I have the responsability to allow others to refuse my request even though I don’t like to be refused.
  •  I have the right to say “NO” without feeling guilty.
         I have the responsability to allow others the right to say “NO”
  • I have the right to be listened to and taken seriously.
        I have the responsability to listen to others and take them seriously 
  •  I have the right to make mistakes.
         I have the responsability to accept the consequences of those mistakes. 
  • I have the right to all my human weaknesses and limitations without guilt or shame.
        I have the responsability to allow others their weaknesses without ridiculing or resenting them.
  •  I have the right to do what is necessary to protect my physical and mental health even though this sometimes requires non-assertive or aggressive  behavior and discomforting of others.
         I have the responsability to do this in a way that causes the least amount of harm to both myself and others.
       
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2014 Go For It!

2014 Go for It!
Last week looked at finding out our wins and challenges for the year 2013. Now we will look forward always in the objective of creating a compelling future that jazzes US (no one else!). I’ve included a few

1) In terms of each of the following life areas, rank your level of satisfaction RIGHT Now (in this moment, don’t over-analyze) with that area in your life 1 to 10 where 1 means that area is completely unsatisfactory to 10 being completely and utterly over the moon.
Satisfaction (Out of /10)
My Relationship with family                __
My Realtionship friends                        __
Significant Other                                       __
Fun and Recreation                                  __
Health                                                             __
Money                                                            __
Career                                                            __
Personal Growth                                       __
Physical Environment                            __

So any areas at or below a “5” should definately be focused on for you to live a fulfilling life in 2014.

2) Look forward to the end of 2014, you are writing out what an incredible year it was.
You begin:

  1. Imagine that it is one year from now – you’re feeling especially gratified and thankful. You are looking back over the past year with a sense of satisfaction and pride. It has been a fabulous year of growth and personal achievement – a year that spoke to your heart. You sit down to write a letter to your closest friends, describing the year,
  2. What are the highlights? You begin: “This has been a most extraordinary year for me…”

What are the obstacles you had to overcome?
There is an underlying theme for the whole year – a thread that was woven through it all. What was that thread?
Who did you have to be in order to get to that place?

3) What experiences on your bucket list will you endeavour to experience/accomplish?

These should get you started!

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Secrets of Mega-Achievers

This week I wanted to share with you some powerful new information that came across my desk with regard to Mega-Achievers (those who seem to have the Midas touch and great success).

1.      Win your emotional combat: So many people lose to stubbornness and ego. Managing our thoughts so that we spend are time and focus on what we want, not what we don’t. Remember, any negative thoughts in your mind are there because you allow them. We have the power to insert any thought. Mega achievers don’t worry about reality, they visualize what they want and focus. Every day you should insert thoughts of personal power, health, abundance.

2.      Make and Execute a Simple Plan: Some of the greatest ideas ever were sketched out on a napkin. Simplicity always wins.

3.      Continuously Support Yourself:  Eliminate loophole words such as “try” and “but”. These rob you of your power and allows a back door exit. As Yoda said: “There is “Do” and there is “not do”, there is no try. Trying is lying. But is a similar word that invalidates all that was said prior to the “but”

Example: “I want to start my new project/business this week, BUT I am so busy”

 4.      The 5 Minute Rule:  Dr. Kenneth Christian tells his underachieving clients: “Just as you are about to give up, give it 5 more minutes. This will launch you through your “dead zone”.

 5.      The Ultimate Difference:  Between Achievers and underachievers is that: The underachiever quits and the achiever completes.

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“How can I make myself more attractive to the opposite sex?”

“How can I make myself more attractive to the opposite sex?”

I get this one asked at my seminars and by my clients so often I thought I’d share it with you.

In one word, be authentic! We live in a world where people wear masks as they feel they are not “enough” or too “flawed” as they are and unlovable with their flaws. What they don’t realize (and now you do) is that our flaws make us human and give us a chance to connect.

When you are trying to be something/someone you are not you lose the essence of what makes you unique and desirable. Realize the masks you wear to “appear” better come from ego, fear and lack. The masks cover fear of rejection and loss, that vibration is very negative and not attractive. Being your real self, flaws, warts and all is very different than what others are doing and allows people to automatically either really like you or dislike you. The fact many dislike you’re true self is a good thing as they naturally go away, leaving those who really like you.

If someone really likes your authentic self, there really is no fear of losing them as they like who you really are from the start. Then powerful relationships can form. Trying to be everything to everyone (brainy, sexy, sporty, successful, artistic, etc.) doesn’t work in target marketing for cars or for people.

Being authentic allows your target market (opposite sex) to really see you as a unique proposition with multiple facets and quirks and become attracted. Being happy with yourself and who you are attracts others who are real as well (and ok being flawed). Being interesting and different is attractive, someone who has many passions and interests is incredibly attractive (passions and interests should be things that feed their soul, not TV and mass popular culture which is a negative vibration (fear and lack perspective).  

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High Potential Underachievers VS Achievers

Via my incredible membership with my private success club I came across some incredible information this week I couldn’t wait to share with you. If you want more info. On joining the club, drop me an email.

After 6 years of studying the most successful people on the planet, here is some incredible information, I dare you to look at yourself and see your truth.

The study looked at High Potential Underachievers vs Achievers. Here’s the skinny….

Print it and put it on your Vision Board (you have one right?!)

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High Potential Under-Achievers (What NOT to do)

5 Characteristics:

Procrastinate:  Spend their type paralyzed and analyzing. THEY DON’T ACT. 

Wide Swings of Mood and Self-esteem: Unfocussed

Difficulty in making decisions: Or undo/doubt when they take decisions

Fear of Disappointment: Of themselves and others. Put others’ opinions above their dreams, hide from life.

Dream Big and Never Follow Through:  Can’t pull the trigger.

Underachievers Quit, Achievers Complete.

Now here is what you want, remember 6 studies/research of Performance and Behavior:

Achievers Profile

“An Indestructible Personality”:  Refuse to give up. Will not be denied or stopped no matter what.

More “At Bats”:  Talk to more people, make more calls. “Eat problems for breakfast” . “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky 

Unshakeable Belief in your dream: Sturdy resilience and unrelenting courage. Chart their success.

Attitude Support:  Keep a positive mindset. Whenever you are above 85% of your thoughts being positive you have a CHANCE at success. Not before.

Mega-Achievers:  Are not Lone Wolves, they are relational.  You need to give to receive. Give from the heart.

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You Become What You Think

For those of you wishing you could have access to the best personal growth information, events and people who can really help you achieve your dreams, I may have the solution for you. Drop me an email so I can send you some information.

Via this incredible bank of material I came across what many believe (as do I) is THE source document for all personal growth material. From Tony Robbins, The Secret, Abraham Hicks, Wayne Dyer, etc.

It is by a gentleman named Earl Nightingale. In 1957 he was a very successful insurance broker who came up with a 30 minute video to train his salespeople. People were changed and it became the greatest selling non-musical recording ever at that time. Though the audio and video are dated and a little worn, the perspective is definitely from the era, don’t let that throw you off.

It is a very layered and complex recording with a lot of information, I’m at my 4th listen and I get something new every time. I challenge you to listen to it every day. The video is called “The Strangest Secret”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=62DqsD2s5V8

One of the key learnings here is that our thoughts create our reality, “We Become What We Think Of” Remember that where you are is the sum total of the thoughts (at certain vibrational/energy frequencies) you have thought.

Once we take 100% responsibility for our results (not blame others, the economy, our parents, our employer, etc.) we are at the wheel of our life and can go where we want when we want.

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“If you want to make God Laugh…just tell him your plans!”

         This is an old Jewish maxim that came across my desk this week and I must say, it has been bouncing around in my head and seems just funny at first but seems so relevant.

         So many course and gurus will bore you to tears with trite phrases such
as , “what gets planned gets done”. Of course some planning is required, or else we are adrift. But in my humble opinion,  successful people spend more time “doing” , “being” and “adjusting/adapting” than spending the lion’s share of their time strictly “planning”. The reason this stops so many in their tracks is that, even the best laid plans fail to account for the following:

  1. A plan is a limited perspective based on (often) faulty data
  2. Life is a beautiful cornucopia of often (seemingly) random events out of our control
  3. Adaptability when a plan is off track separates the successful from the “I’m surviving my life” crowd
  4. Our thoughts, feeling and belief  around what we want (plans) are what create their success (Law of Attraction)

With this in mind a great maxim that seems to work to incorporate “planning” and the Law of Attraction is:

“I want this, OR BETTER!”

           Here’s a powerful example from my life. Over the last 6 months I have been quietly but consistently working on my next book (writing is one of my greatest passions). It is a picture book about the passion for motorcycling. I was about 50% done and similar to Live It!, I wanted it to have human stories that supported my idea that motorcycling is a most beautiful obsession.

My original “plan” was to have multiple separate stories at the beginning and end of each chapter. I put out fliers. Zero stories came in, not one single one! I was not worried as I knew it would work out. Three weeks ago, the universe provided the “OR BETTER”, and it was quite a bit better than my idea in all honesty.

A gentleman contacted me who had quit his accounting job, got divorced and lost his dad to cancer . He decided to ride SOLO from Toronto to Newfoundland (most easterly point in North America)  to Prudhoe Bay, Alaska (most northerly and westerly point in North America) and then straight south to the tip of Argentina (most Southerly point in the Americas). He did 65,000 km (42,000 miles) in 11 months. So the book will now chronicle his adventures will bookend my material in each chapter. If you are curious, here’s his site: http://www.gregsadventure.com/. I am blessed to have him working with me in creating a book for the ages.

I am thrilled and excited as the Universe has provided a much superior solution AGAIN.

So plan, but allow for the Universe to provide “AND BETTER”. You will be surprised.

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Living The Law of Attraction : “I want Horses!”

Thank You to all the veterans who have made our lives better!

Frank Update:

It’s been an incredible week for me as my baby book “Live It!” is now available in 6 Toronto books stores and I have my first book signing scheduled for Friday February 1st at Origo Books, 49 Lower Jarvis Street. I couldn’t have done it without the undying support and unwavering commitment of Cindy my girlfriend and rock. Thanks my sweet angel! This week I will be listing the book through Bookmasters for comprehensive U.S. distribution.

Living the Law of Attraction : “I Want Horses!”

           Every once in a while a personal story deeply cements and confirms the unlimited power and unlimited scope of the Law of Attraction (as I often remind people, “all limitations are in our heads, the universe knows no such limits.”). The following story was told to me by a close friend who is as powerful a manifester as I know (she manifested me in her life too! Lol!). Thank you Catherine for allowing me to share this incredible story. Every item in this story is 100% true!

In the early 90’s, Catherine was living in the San Diego area. She was looking to relax and enjoy life for a while between major work and life projects. Catherine started thinking and feeling (in a child like, “I want his!” the following: “I want horses, they seem amazing!” Catherine had never even ridden a horse!

She imagined what it would be like to ride horses and be around their equine magnificence. She didn’t focus on “HOW” or “WHEN” this would happen (unlike most who don’t understand that the universe can give you “what you want, or BETTER!” ). She simply allowed the dream to warm her up and felt great about it.

Within 3 weeks at a business social event on Catalina Island, Catherine met a gentleman who had 2 beautiful show Arabian horses. Catherine and the gentleman gleefully discussed horses and he invited her up to ride a horse at his ranch in northern California. He sent her an airplane ticket and Catherine visited and loved the horses. As the day drew to a close the following conversation occurred between the horse owner and Catherine:

Horse Owner: “How do you like the horses?”

Catherine:  “I love them!!!’

Horse Owner: “My wife and I are going overseas and we want a good home for our 2 horses. Would you like to have them?”

Catherine:  “Of course, but I don’t have any gear!”

Horse Owner:  “Oh don’t worry about that, I’ll give you all the saddles, bridles and gear, everything you and they will need.”

Catherine: “Great! Wow! But I don’t have a trailer!”

Horse Owner: “Of course, not a problem, I’ll give you their trailer!”

Catherine: “Really, wow! I don’t have a car big enough to pull that big trailer.”

Horse Owner: “Not an issue. I’m giving you the truck to pull the trailer and horses.”

 Catherine had manifested 2 gorgeous Arabian show horses, all their gear and a trailer and truck! Absolutely impossible unless you understand that the Universe has no limits.

Catherine found a ranch less than a mile from where she lived and enjoyed the horses for almost 5 years. Then some family issues forced her to move back to Toronto. She visualized a wonderful home for the horses in the same feeling (remember thoughts that are “emotionalized are magnetized”). Within days a young couple knocked at the door and bought the horses for their parents’ retirement gift.

What a story! The Law of Attraction knows no limits in terms of time, scope and size or dollar amount. Catherine simply felt the joy of horses and the Universe delivered something a million times bigger and better than if she had focused specifically only on, “I want to ride a horse”.

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November Rain (Tears)

Last Thursday may have been November 1st but for me it was like Christmas Day, My Birthday and a Promotion rolled into one. You see, last Thursday was the day that I picked up 525 copies of my baby book, “Live It!”. I had been more or less making sure before that day that all spare money would go to paying for the books (the life of a self-publisher i tell you…lol). As with all things meant to be, the Universe orchestrated everything absolutely perfectly bringing in exactly the funds I needed within a few dollars!

Back to that day. I woke up with a spring in my step as I sang to myself “This is the day I get/see/touch my books!”. I had even thought of cancelling all other appointments that day but decided that some time away from hyper focussing on “the event” would be good. As I left my last appointment to drive to the book warehouse (where I was told to park in the back and ask for Pat, how very mysterious!), it literally hit me like a ton of books: I would see the culmination of my thoughts, imagination and efforts in a physical product. As a coach and speaker, most of what I do is powerful but not tangible.

 As it hit me, tears began pouring down my face at the realization that my “baby book” would finally start being adopted by loving people. The emotion was so strong, a combination of releif, joy, anticipation and a little trepidation (will they like it?). As the men loaded in the 9 boxes of HEAVY books and warned me not to brake too suddenly, it dawned on me, I had done it! I had delivered this book to the world.

A book is tangible and for that it is very special. “Live It!” introduces and explains all my best tools and thinking (in easily understandable language with examples) along with all my hope and passion for others living their greatest lives. It meets you where you are NOW and gives you powerful processes to find your purpose and truth to live authentically and manifest all your greatest wants and desires.

I can sincerely tell you from my heart, this book delivers, it has juice and it will make a huge differnce in so many people’s lives. Last Thursday night after speaking to a crowd, I had the pleasure of autographing many books and loved it so much. A coach author had arrived.

I explained to someone this week, “Buying Live It! is the next best thing to hiring me as your coach!”  It will also make a tremendous Christmas gift.  Buy it here: http://www.quantumleapcoach.ca/books/live-it

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“Why Wait Until They Die?”

Happy Halloween to everyone! May that be the only day a year you wear a mask of inauthenticity!

As I was at the gym this week I saw a funeral on television. As the procession advanced, the commentators were piling on the positive achievements and community impact of the gentleman in question.

It occurred to me that many people save all the great things they should tell others for after the person’s death. Now I know this may seem a little extreme, but really, is it?

Other than graduations, weddings and major career promotions, when do we tell the important people around us how much they mean to us? How often do we allow are ego (fear) stop us from telling our loved ones, friends and business partners how important they are in our lives and how amazing they are. I’ve been on this wavelength lately,

I’ve become quite complimentary and upbeat with EVERYONE I meet. From the gentleman and ladies who dutifully clean the lobby every morning as I go for a run. To anyone at any store I go to, anyone in the elevator, people are everywhere and I make it my duty to leave them somehow more joyful and appreciated. Don’t think for a second I am only doing it for them as I get just as much or more out of it than they do.

It’s astonishing (and so sad) how few people actually do walk through life in pure joy and appreciation (children and pets excluded as they know how and chose to feel good all the time).

These vibrations (joy/love/empowerment/freedom/appreciation) are #1 at the top of the emotional scale.

By feeling that good (not waiting for “good” things to happen to you before you are joyful) all the time you attract people, experiences and events that feel that good, this creates a “virtuous” circle. That is all you need to remember to tap into the most senior of all physical laws: the Law of Attraction. The same way the Law of Lift Supercedes the Law of Gravity (otherwise birds and planes wouldn’t fly!), whether you believe in the LoA or not doesn’t change that it works. The same way you don’t need to believe in gravity for it to work.

I dare you this week to shine a ray of sunshine and joy on everyone you meet, you will make their day. You may also make your own!

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