“It’s Off My Radar Screen”

If we liken our lives and events in our lives as all occurring on a large 100 meter (300 feet) radius. Our visibility at any time is like a fog-induced 10 foot radius around us.

This is important as we all know hindsight is 20/20. How many times do you look back at events in your life and see that something/someone completely unseen and unplanned came into your life (on your radar) and created a chain event that transformed your life path completely.

The event was “off your radar” but found its way to you because of the vibration you were putting out to the universe. Thoughts are vibrational energy and bring people and events into your radar from “off your radar”. These are far from “random” events, you attracted them with your thoughts. Remember, we become and experience what we think of most of the time.

How to use this:  Most people spend their lives worrying about what is in the 10 feet around them, (on their radar). They see career/work problems, relationship issues, health concerns, etcetera, etcetera. This attracts more issues, people and circumstances that match worry/fear.  A better approach would be to say and believe, “Right now I can’t see how X will be resolved, it’s off my radar, but I know a solution will come!”

This is powerful because a) it makes you feel better,  which attracts what you want, b) it allows you to believe the world is benevolent (not fearful) and will bring you the best, so you are happier which brings more great things.

I urge you to begin admitting you HAVE NO/ZERO idea what’s coming, it’s off your radar.

Here’s an example from my life. Two weeks ago a very important person to create my success was very much unknown to me, off my radar. I went out on a Saturday night on a feeling I had to go out even though I was comfy on the couch with my love. We met an amazing couple we are having lunch with this weekend. The gentleman was a powerful business person from Dubai franchising businesses here in North America. He referred me to someone who really “gets” what I am all about and has a burning desire to help me succeed. Not only that he is an amazing person that I really like. I’ll tell you more about him soon.

You and I are not that smart that we know what is coming, even if you can’t see how something will work out, keep the faith (#4 on the ES), a solution is on your radar screen of you are feeling good. Your only job: feel good all the time.

Additionally, if you are looking for an opportunity that allows you to learn and share great information like this, we should talk, I am surrounded by some amazingly helpful people.

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Appreciation: A Rampage of

The last few weeks have been quite wondrous for me and I am in appreciation of all that I am experiencing. I thought I’d share a few examples as appreciation is #1 on the Emotional Scale!

Peter Gabriel Music Concert:  Phenomenal sounds and visuals created an incredible soundscape of classics. This man is a musical genius.

Cirque Du Soleil Amaluna:  This was my first Cirque experience and I absolutely adored it. The ability of the performers is Olympic quality, the soundtrack uplifting and the coordination and flawless performance are a joy to behold. Worth every generous penny, sometimes premium is worth it.

Hy’s Steakhouse: My lovely partner took me to this steak house for my birthday last week, (September 24th). The food is devine, the décor classic upscale and the service is simply palatial. Being treated to a 5 star meal service is quite impressive. http://www.hyssteakhouse.com/

A Beautiful Wedding:  I was a groomsman at my best friend Chris Partridge married his love, Shannon McGregor at the Knollwood in Ancaster, Ontario. I’ve been to my fair share of weddings, this one was almost a spiritual event. The love of the family, friends and couple electrified the wedding. Beautiful and simple wedding ceremony and evening that focused on connections and love, wonderful memories and touching moments. From the M and M candies with their faces and dates, to walking Shannon’s dog down the aisle. Pictures taken by a photographer that cared, etc. Etc.

This is what you call a rampage of appreciation and it feels and sounds so good. I wish you to go on your own!

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A Life of Courageous Authenticity!

We all want it, the media parades it to us but so many find it very difficult to achieve: What is it?

A Life  of Courageous Authenticity

We all wear masks of inauthenticity, identifying ourselves with other people. We don’t even know who we are, what we are doing and why we are doing it. We don’t know what we don’t know. From our childhood we’ve developed values and behaviours to feel accepted by others and to fit in. Our egos want to protect us from feelings of isolation.  These fearful masks disguise our true greatness, uniqueness and connection to our own humanity. Our Most Brilliant Selves are stifled beneath the façade.

 


 

Once we become courageously authentic, our whole life is unveiled by our ongoing transformation.

This book will launch you forward and guide you to embrace your ultimate truth:

 

  • Learn to create powerful new thoughts and behavior patterns while overwriting false self-limiting beliefs.
  • Enhance your vibration by adopting an abundance perspective
  • Learn to live your unique truth and love yourself deeply
  • Enjoy real life stories of authenticity and quotes to inspire you
  • Self-mentor with exercises that help clarify your values, create your life purpose and build your life’s vision

 

Once you understand, accept and then love your courageous authentic self, you will rise above your fears, and a new passionate and permanent quality of life is yours. This is is not a Practice Life!

 

Live It! Your Courageosuly Authentic Life” My latest book, allowing you to discover, harness and develop your unique superpower: your unique courageous authenticity! NOW AVAILABLE !

 

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A Comparison of Successful People and Unsuccessful People

As fall begins it’s time to refocus and be better at everything! A great friend and business partner sent me this and I completely concur, thanks Rabia! I’m unsure of the source. print it off so you can see it, mine is going on my vision wall! i’ve added the Emotional Scale emotions for clarity (remember any emotion above #8 feels good and attracts abundance, and below #8 feels bad attracts scarcity .

Successful People                                                                            Unsuccessful People
Have a sense of gratitude (appreciation, #1 on the ES)        Have a sense of entitlement
Forgive others                                                                                        Hold a grudge
Give others credit for their victories                                             Take all the credit for their victories
Accept responsibility for their failures                                         Blame (#15 on the ES) others for their failures
Compliment (appreciation, #1 ont he ES)                                    Criticize (#20 Jealousy on the ES)
Read (Empowerment, #1 on the ES) everyday                          Watch TV (scarcity perspective) everyday
Keep a journal                                                                                          Say they keep a journal but really don’t
Talk about ideas                                                                                      Talk about people
Want others to succeed (Hopefulness, #6 on the ES)             Secretly hope others fail
Share information and data                                                               Horde information and data
Keep a “to-be” list                                                                                  Don’t know what they want to be
Exude joy (Joy, #1 on the ES)                                                           Exude anger (Anger is #17 on the ES)
Keep a “to-do” project list  (Eagerness/Enthusiasm #3)       Fly by the seat of their pants
Set goals and develop life plans                                                        Never set goals (to avoid failing)
Continuously learn (always open)                                                  Think they know it all (always closed)
Embrace Change                                                                                     Fear change
Transformational perspective (“what can i contribute?”)     Transactional perspective (“what can i get?”)

Which are you mostly?

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What You Should Always Take

I came across this section in my upcoming book, “Live It!” (avail. Oct.). The original title of the book was “Take It!” and this section aimed to clarify what we should take (what is ours not others’). Enjoy!

WHAT YOU SHOULD ALWAYS TAKE

1. All opportunities put in front of you that resonate with you (connect to your soul and heart) You always learn more from the opportunities you take (even and especially if you fail, remember, we learn more from failure) than by not taking a chance.  By not trying you miss all the learning that occurs when taking chances.  Fortune favors the courageous and brave.  Not making a choice IS A CHOICE, a choice devoid of any courage or learning.  NOT making a choice is always the worst option as others then make their own choices, benefitting themselves.  If you don’t make a choice you lose the insight and self-actualizing benefits of trusting yourself.  Taking charge and making choices leads to feeling in charge of your life.

2. Life as a great game of exploration and adventure!  Doesn’t that sound like a great way to see it, instead of a great series of problems, hurdles and disappointments?

3. You always need to get clear on WHAT you want and WHY you want it Once you know what you want, life becomes so much simpler as you can choose powerfully and quickly and not look back with guilt.  This is your #1 quest in life, “What do I want (for myself) and why?” Once this is clear, a multitude of “difficult” or even seemingly “impossible” situations can be dealt with from a place of empowerment and certainty. That’s an amazing way to live!

4. The present moment as a gift.  Another name for a Christmas or birthday present is “gift”.  That is what the present moment is; a once in a lifetime gift never to be experienced again.  All of our power of decision and choice must necessarily occur in the present moment (since we can’t time travel yet).

The word decision is derived from Latin and means, “To cut off all other options.Much of your daily practice should center around being present to all the beauty of nature and the wonderful people around you.  Get out of your head and into your heart!  Any time we worry or are apprehensive (Fear), we are DEFINITELY NOT PRESENT!  In the present moment is where all action can occur.  Most people spend much too little time in the present moment.  We go back to the past and feel guilt or anger, or we think of the future, which is good if we see it as positive.  Many people simply dream of a better future.  A dream without a plan and action is simply a fantasy.

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A Cottage Frame of Mind

        Last week I had the pleasure and privilege of renting a cottage in the Haliburton area.  The weather was rainy. Regardless, it was still wonderful as only a place far from the hustle and bustle of city and regular life can create. As with most vacations it took a day or so there to get used to the new place and change in routines on all fronts. Isn’t that why we go away on vacation? To change the routine, see new things, people and experience life through a different lens.

             Some insights from the cottage came to me today and I thought I would share them with you.

 Mother Nature: Without the distraction and sound and visual pollution of the city, amazing sights and sounds are right there and spectacular. My first night there was amazing as the power of a thunder and lightning storm created a Halloween sound and visual landscape. One lightning strike was so close and powerful that my trusted Riplee dog launched onto the bed with me! The pitter patter of rain on the leaves and roof is something to behold.

 The stars at night are absolutely breath-taking and very visible.

The air is completely different (nights cooler) leading to sounder and deeper sleep.

Food:  Eating becomes one of the central themes of the day as one removes most/all regular tasks and responsibilities. Preparing and sharing a meal with your family is a great chance to connect.

No Cable TV:  As much as I’m a minimalist in terms of what I consume on television, once at the cottage, the only indication of civilization was the background radio station playing classic 70’s-80’s music harkening back to those glorious musical generations. Watching an older DVD of “The Great Escape” for the first time on a 13 inch TV has its own quaint appeal. The lack of cable TV also opens up the time for board and card games with much merriment. I was fortunate to have internet so I could still stay in touch with the Olympics (my little obsession) and a couple of coaching calls. I have always dreamed of coaching from a cottage, that dream happened this week and was amazingly motivating for me to get my own cottage-type place soon.

Miscellaneous:  One other interesting tidbit was that I had brought my laptop in the hope of doing some writing on my newest “Motorcycle Chronicles” (working title) book. Although I did ride into Algonquin Park, I DIDN’T feel like writing at all! At first I was worried I’d lost my writing touch. Then I realized (and reframed the experience) that this was what was meant to be and I enjoyed the writing break. Maybe my current writing location (dining room) environment is part of my “being a writer”.

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How to Get Market/Date Ready

Reader Question

This week, I thought I’d share a question I answered for one of our readers.

QUESTION: “I’m still upset/heartbroken over my past relationship(s). How (and when?) do I get “market-ready” to date?” JC

Frank: The simple answer JC, you’re ready when you are ready! What’s the rush anyway? That being said, everyone is different. You are ready when the idea of going out with someone new is very appealing. Too many people the fear being alone and then start dating coming from a lacking place. Anything coming from fear/lack is not a good perspective and will attract other fearful/lacking people.

When you’ve done some inner work towards getting to know and love yourself you will be ready. Many people don’t love (or even like) themselves and look to a relationship to fill up what they are missing. Two low self-esteem people do not a good couple make! Inadequate + inadequate = More inadequate! And they trigger each other’s unresolved “baggage” together making a mess.

When you become single after a relationship (never mind a heartbreaker!) you need time to get to know what the new (and improved), latest version of you likes and wants. Many people right out of a relationship feel rejected, dejected, unworthy (unworthiness is #21 on the ES). They feel less than complete and feel lost. A good way to soften is to look for all the gifts the relationship gave you, who YOU became because of it. You are VERY aware of what didn’t work, flip that around to what you do want. So, if you felt your last partner was “controlling”, you could say, “I’m looking for someone who values freedom (#1 on the ES) as I do.”

A certain amount of grieving must occur to process the emotions. Be gentle and enjoy exploring your “new” very different life. Reconnect to old and make new friends and hobbies/passions. Don’t look immediately for a partner as then the dreaded “rebound” relationships occur. Do the right thing and take some time to be curious about all that is possible. Most people look at what they lost instead of what they gained from their separation. When coming from lack you attract others in lack.

Good luck and please let us know how it goes!  

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Tips to Practice Abundant Thinking

From my upcoming book, “Live It! Your Courageously Authentic Life” (Available on presale in September):

1. Decide and commit immediately to start to think abundant thoughts then do it. Put a penny in a jar for every positive thought you have (a forced easy saving method, hint spend the savings on something nice like a trip!)

2. Actually count (and record/journal) your numerous blessings right now, and start being grateful (Appreciation is #1 on the ES) for all the amazing things, people and experiences in your life.

3. Stop thinking and talking about what you believe you DON’T have. Instead, focus on creating the circumstances that you do want. Develop your passion, interests, knowledge, and skills in areas that will help you achieve more.

4. Replace “could’ve”, “should’ve” and “would’ve” with “I want” or “I will soon have”. Begin visualizing and feeling what it will be like to have it (tell your mind the “How” and “WHEN” is not your responsibility).

5. Don’t feel guilty (Guilt, #21 on the ES) for wanting / desiring. It is your personal choice to strive for happiness for yourself and others.

6. You can want, but NEVER create specific expectations. Having expectations leads to disappointment. Be “committed” yet not “attached” to a particular result or outcome.

7. Create zero expectations of what you will receive. Do not automatically assume that you will receive anything. Just know that anything and everything is possible and invite that abundance into your life. Be abundant (generous) with your emotions  and time with others, be appreciative, passionate, free and loving.

8. Be mentally prepared (but not focused) on worst-case scenarios. Know that in the right emotional state you can and will handle anything and everything the world (recall, like an ocean) will throw at you and this easily. If you meet your goals, it will add to the happiness you already enjoy; if not, it doesn’t matter because you are happy with what you already have.

9. Eliminate thinking the world owes you a living and that you deserve to receive what you want. Everything you receive in life is a gift. The world doesn’t owe you anything, but its abundance is capable of giving you anything and everything you desire. Give more, expect less.

10. Remember the universe is fair, you must give to receive but NEVER give EXPECTING to receive.

11. Stop feeling cheated, and like a victim (Powerlessness, #22 on the ES). This is a scarcity perspective. Take control and responsibility of your life (and by extension) your own happiness.

12. Know that your past does not equal your future, and your current unfavorable situation does not have to last if you choose to make it better. You are not your condition or circumstances, but YOU ARE your thoughts. Take 100% responsibility that your past thoughts and choices have lead exactly to where you are. Once you do you will feel in control of (and love) your life (empowerment, #1 on the ES).

13. Accept and plan to make mistakes. PERFECTIONISM equals and leads to PARALYSIS. Don’t beat yourself up when you do; regard mistakes as moments on your learning curve that will help take you to new heights. Learn from them and move on. Our hardest knocks teach us our most important lessons in life. We learn many more lessons from our failures than our successes, ask any sports team!

14. Think of a physical reminder that will help you keep your thoughts on track. Every time you feel you are drifting back to thoughts of scarcity, perform your little physical action to realign yourself with abundance. You could click your fingers, snap a rubber band on your wrist, or simply join your thumb to your forefinger as people do in meditation.

15.  Develop a mantra that you repeat every morning and evening or whenever you need a boost. An example I use is, “Every day and every in way the universe gives me more than I need!” 

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Converting Scarcity Perspectives to Abundant Ones

Turning Scarcity Perspectives to Abundance!

      As I work diligently to bring you my next book, “Take It!” (Avail. Aug. 2012), I wanted to share part of a chapter where I reframe some scarcity perspectives into abundance perspectives. My whole idea here is that our interpretations of events are often EVEN MORE important than the events themselves. Enjoy!

Scarcity: “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”

Abundance: “There is more than enough money for great people and ideas when I allow!”

Scarcity: “You need to go to school to have any hope of getting a good job and security”

Abundance: “What creates security is passion for what you do, and the fact you know you are unique and can tap that uniqueness to help the world.”

Scarcity: “There’s not enough money to get you the present you really wanted.”

Abundance: “We gave you this gift coming from love and joy.”

Scarcity: “The plant closed, daddy lost his job, we have to sell the house”

Abundance: “The plant closed, daddy lost his job and now he gets to do what he really wants and we are also moving to make a new start!”

Scarcity: “Find a good woman/man soon as you can’t meet anyone when you are over the hill/ over 40.”

Abundance: “The perfect person is out there for you and will be there when you allow the time and space for them and really like and embrace your authentic, most brilliant self.”

Scarcity: “Be careful when you cross the street.”

Abundance: “Have a blast out there!”

Scarcity: “Don’t talk to strangers.”

Abundance: “The world is your family/playground!”

Scarcity: “Take care!”

Abundance: “Have an adventurous, exciting and empowering day!”

Scarcity: “Don’t say what you think at work, you may get fired!”

Abundance: “Be your true (authentic) self at work!”


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