5 “Prescriptions” For Happiness

        No matter how much you have, you could always use more. Even the happiest person could want even more. This week I will cover some phenomenal research (scientific) on happiness. There are over 800 books on “Happiness” out there, very few (a handful) are actually research and science based information. As such so many happiness cookbooks are of the “Grandma always said” or simply the opinion of one person having “found” it after suffering. I’d like to thank Karl for sharing this with me so I can share it with you. 
1) Change What you DO Not What you have:  Forget “I’ll be happier when I get ____” (raise, new car, new position, etc.). Also change “HOW” you do things (vary them). Example: Volunteer, Big Brother/Sister2) Pursue intrinsic goals for self-concordant reasons: Goals that mean something to you and that resonate with your values and who you are. Goals are VERY important. They are a way to travel to the future we want! Pursue goals out of interest, not pressure. Expressing your identity, not your guilt.
3) Strive to be your Authentic/Unguarded self in social settings: Those whose social self is closest to their “true” self live the happiest. Have the courage to be yourself and see the magic as others reflect authenticity.

4) Balance your time across the day: Don’t do too much of only one thing, mix it up.

5) Manage your life so that you feel autonomous, competent and connected:
Humans have 3 basic psychological needs:
A) Autonomous:  Doing what you choose.
Fortune Cookie: “Do not depend on others to make you happy, you can do it yourself.”
B) Competence: Whatever you do, do it well.
Fortune Cookie: “To guarantee success, act as if it were impossible to fail.” 
C) Relatedness: Connect with others.
Fortune Cookie: “Your friends and family are the key to your happiness.”

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A Real Hero

Fantastic Spoken Word on building your own career vs JOB (just over Broke):

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=tzcxOl4b7IA

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I challenge you to keep a dry eye after reading this, no offence to the stars, but we do tend to deify athletes, movie and rock stars. Thanks Ruth D. for passing this to me.

True Hero

And think of the media circus, flags at half staff, and all the things that were said of Whitney Houston when she died and Michael Jackson when he died. This hero died with barely anyone’s notice.
“Shifty” By Chuck Yeager

Shifty volunteered for the airborne in WWII and served with Easy Company of the 506th Parachute Infantry Regiment, part of the 101st Airborne Infantry. If you’ve seen Band of Brothers on HBO or the History Channel, you know Shifty. His character appears in all 10 episodes, and Shifty himself is interviewed in several of them.

I met Shifty in the Philadelphia airport several years ago. I didn’t know who he was at the time. I just saw an elderly gentleman having trouble reading his ticket. I offered to help, assured him that he was at the right gate, and noticed the “Screaming Eagle,” the symbol of  the 101st Airborne, on his hat.

Making conversation, I asked him if he’d been in the 101st Airborne or if his son was serving. He said quietly that he had been in the 101st. I thanked him for his service, then asked him when he served, and how many jumps he made.

Quietly and humbly, he said “Well, I guess I signed up in 1941 or so, and was in until sometime in 1945 …” at which point my heart skipped.

At that point, again, very humbly, he said “I made the 5 training jumps at Toccoa, and then jumped into Normandy . . . do you know where Normandy is?” At this point my heart stopped.

I told him “Yes, I know exactly where Normandy is, and I know what D-Day was.” At that point he said “I also made a second jump into Holland , into Arnhem ..” I was standing with a genuine war hero …and then I realized that it was June, just after the anniversary of  D-Day.

I asked Shifty if he was on his way back from France , and he said  “Yes… And it ‘s real sad because, these days, so few of the guys are left, and those that are, lots of them can’t make the trip.” My heart was in my throat and I didn’t know what to say.

I helped Shifty get onto the plane and then realized he was back in coach while I was in First Class. I sent the flight attendant back to get him and said that I wanted to switch seats. When Shifty came forward, I got up out of the seat and told him I wanted him to have it, that I’d take his in coach.


He said “No, son, you enjoy that seat. Just knowing that there are still some who remember what we did and who still care is enough to make an old man very happy.” His eyes were filling up as he said it.

And mine are brimming up now as I write this.
Shifty died on Jan. l7 after fighting cancer.
There was no parade.

No big event in Staples Center .

No wall-to-wall, back-to-back 24×7 news coverage.

No weeping fans on television.

And that’s not right!

Let’s give Shifty his own memorial service, online, in our own quiet way.

Please forward this email to everyone you know. Especially to the veterans.

Rest in peace, Shifty.

Chuck Yeager, Maj. General [ret.]

P.S. I think that it is amazing how the “media” chooses our “heroes” these days…

Elvis, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston & the like.

“SHIFTY” – an incredible American hero.

Please do me a favor and pass this on so that untold thousands can read it.

We owe no less to our REAL Heroes.

 

I hope this touched you as much as did me.

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Living The Law of Attraction : “I want Horses!”

Thank You to all the veterans who have made our lives better!

Frank Update:

It’s been an incredible week for me as my baby book “Live It!” is now available in 6 Toronto books stores and I have my first book signing scheduled for Friday February 1st at Origo Books, 49 Lower Jarvis Street. I couldn’t have done it without the undying support and unwavering commitment of Cindy my girlfriend and rock. Thanks my sweet angel! This week I will be listing the book through Bookmasters for comprehensive U.S. distribution.

Living the Law of Attraction : “I Want Horses!”

           Every once in a while a personal story deeply cements and confirms the unlimited power and unlimited scope of the Law of Attraction (as I often remind people, “all limitations are in our heads, the universe knows no such limits.”). The following story was told to me by a close friend who is as powerful a manifester as I know (she manifested me in her life too! Lol!). Thank you Catherine for allowing me to share this incredible story. Every item in this story is 100% true!

In the early 90’s, Catherine was living in the San Diego area. She was looking to relax and enjoy life for a while between major work and life projects. Catherine started thinking and feeling (in a child like, “I want his!” the following: “I want horses, they seem amazing!” Catherine had never even ridden a horse!

She imagined what it would be like to ride horses and be around their equine magnificence. She didn’t focus on “HOW” or “WHEN” this would happen (unlike most who don’t understand that the universe can give you “what you want, or BETTER!” ). She simply allowed the dream to warm her up and felt great about it.

Within 3 weeks at a business social event on Catalina Island, Catherine met a gentleman who had 2 beautiful show Arabian horses. Catherine and the gentleman gleefully discussed horses and he invited her up to ride a horse at his ranch in northern California. He sent her an airplane ticket and Catherine visited and loved the horses. As the day drew to a close the following conversation occurred between the horse owner and Catherine:

Horse Owner: “How do you like the horses?”

Catherine:  “I love them!!!’

Horse Owner: “My wife and I are going overseas and we want a good home for our 2 horses. Would you like to have them?”

Catherine:  “Of course, but I don’t have any gear!”

Horse Owner:  “Oh don’t worry about that, I’ll give you all the saddles, bridles and gear, everything you and they will need.”

Catherine: “Great! Wow! But I don’t have a trailer!”

Horse Owner: “Of course, not a problem, I’ll give you their trailer!”

Catherine: “Really, wow! I don’t have a car big enough to pull that big trailer.”

Horse Owner: “Not an issue. I’m giving you the truck to pull the trailer and horses.”

 Catherine had manifested 2 gorgeous Arabian show horses, all their gear and a trailer and truck! Absolutely impossible unless you understand that the Universe has no limits.

Catherine found a ranch less than a mile from where she lived and enjoyed the horses for almost 5 years. Then some family issues forced her to move back to Toronto. She visualized a wonderful home for the horses in the same feeling (remember thoughts that are “emotionalized are magnetized”). Within days a young couple knocked at the door and bought the horses for their parents’ retirement gift.

What a story! The Law of Attraction knows no limits in terms of time, scope and size or dollar amount. Catherine simply felt the joy of horses and the Universe delivered something a million times bigger and better than if she had focused specifically only on, “I want to ride a horse”.

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Child-Like Authenticity = Inspiring Moments

As some of you regular readers know I have a dog called Riplee (Believe it or Not!). This week we were returning from the park and we were in the elevator. A woman and her lovely daughter who was about 4 years old got in the elevator.

As the door closed the daughter took fascinated interest in Riplee the following conversation happens:

Little girl:  As she pointed obviously at the black wart-like protrusion on Riplee’s head, in the cutest voice, What’s that black bump on his head?”

Her mother looked uncomfortable for a second until she saw me smile and laugh out loud. I was glad she didn’t admonish as others might have for this very direct question.

Me: Thrilled at her authenticity and blatant disregard for what is politically correct, I replied, “That’s a wart!”

Little girl: Very curious now, “Does it hurt him?”

Me:  “No, he’s older and it doesn’t hurt at all like when people have birth marks!”

We have much to learn from children in terms of their in-the-moment 100% curiosity and authenticity. She hadn’t been “programmed” yet to worry so much about what other people think and it made her absolutely real and irresistible in the process.

People are attracted to our humanity, our quirks and unique EVEN weird or mildly offensive character traits (don’t we all have a few of those?). Despite all the cultural pressures to conform to some rules or norms (whatever that means), we are almost magnetically attracted to people who are themselves. As a matter of fact, I feel being our real, authentic selves (warts and all) is our own unique superpower, no one is like us.

If you would like to learn all about tuning into your authenticity superpower, it’s all detailed in my latest book, “Live It! Your Courageously Authentic Life”. 

This week I challenge you to take some risks and be authentic, be present and curious. Be a zebra among horses, your experience will be life-changing and you will have a blast! (Joy, #1 on the ES).

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What You Should Always Take

I came across this section in my upcoming book, “Live It!” (avail. Oct.). The original title of the book was “Take It!” and this section aimed to clarify what we should take (what is ours not others’). Enjoy!

WHAT YOU SHOULD ALWAYS TAKE

1. All opportunities put in front of you that resonate with you (connect to your soul and heart) You always learn more from the opportunities you take (even and especially if you fail, remember, we learn more from failure) than by not taking a chance.  By not trying you miss all the learning that occurs when taking chances.  Fortune favors the courageous and brave.  Not making a choice IS A CHOICE, a choice devoid of any courage or learning.  NOT making a choice is always the worst option as others then make their own choices, benefitting themselves.  If you don’t make a choice you lose the insight and self-actualizing benefits of trusting yourself.  Taking charge and making choices leads to feeling in charge of your life.

2. Life as a great game of exploration and adventure!  Doesn’t that sound like a great way to see it, instead of a great series of problems, hurdles and disappointments?

3. You always need to get clear on WHAT you want and WHY you want it Once you know what you want, life becomes so much simpler as you can choose powerfully and quickly and not look back with guilt.  This is your #1 quest in life, “What do I want (for myself) and why?” Once this is clear, a multitude of “difficult” or even seemingly “impossible” situations can be dealt with from a place of empowerment and certainty. That’s an amazing way to live!

4. The present moment as a gift.  Another name for a Christmas or birthday present is “gift”.  That is what the present moment is; a once in a lifetime gift never to be experienced again.  All of our power of decision and choice must necessarily occur in the present moment (since we can’t time travel yet).

The word decision is derived from Latin and means, “To cut off all other options.Much of your daily practice should center around being present to all the beauty of nature and the wonderful people around you.  Get out of your head and into your heart!  Any time we worry or are apprehensive (Fear), we are DEFINITELY NOT PRESENT!  In the present moment is where all action can occur.  Most people spend much too little time in the present moment.  We go back to the past and feel guilt or anger, or we think of the future, which is good if we see it as positive.  Many people simply dream of a better future.  A dream without a plan and action is simply a fantasy.

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Tips to Practice Abundant Thinking

From my upcoming book, “Live It! Your Courageously Authentic Life” (Available on presale in September):

1. Decide and commit immediately to start to think abundant thoughts then do it. Put a penny in a jar for every positive thought you have (a forced easy saving method, hint spend the savings on something nice like a trip!)

2. Actually count (and record/journal) your numerous blessings right now, and start being grateful (Appreciation is #1 on the ES) for all the amazing things, people and experiences in your life.

3. Stop thinking and talking about what you believe you DON’T have. Instead, focus on creating the circumstances that you do want. Develop your passion, interests, knowledge, and skills in areas that will help you achieve more.

4. Replace “could’ve”, “should’ve” and “would’ve” with “I want” or “I will soon have”. Begin visualizing and feeling what it will be like to have it (tell your mind the “How” and “WHEN” is not your responsibility).

5. Don’t feel guilty (Guilt, #21 on the ES) for wanting / desiring. It is your personal choice to strive for happiness for yourself and others.

6. You can want, but NEVER create specific expectations. Having expectations leads to disappointment. Be “committed” yet not “attached” to a particular result or outcome.

7. Create zero expectations of what you will receive. Do not automatically assume that you will receive anything. Just know that anything and everything is possible and invite that abundance into your life. Be abundant (generous) with your emotions  and time with others, be appreciative, passionate, free and loving.

8. Be mentally prepared (but not focused) on worst-case scenarios. Know that in the right emotional state you can and will handle anything and everything the world (recall, like an ocean) will throw at you and this easily. If you meet your goals, it will add to the happiness you already enjoy; if not, it doesn’t matter because you are happy with what you already have.

9. Eliminate thinking the world owes you a living and that you deserve to receive what you want. Everything you receive in life is a gift. The world doesn’t owe you anything, but its abundance is capable of giving you anything and everything you desire. Give more, expect less.

10. Remember the universe is fair, you must give to receive but NEVER give EXPECTING to receive.

11. Stop feeling cheated, and like a victim (Powerlessness, #22 on the ES). This is a scarcity perspective. Take control and responsibility of your life (and by extension) your own happiness.

12. Know that your past does not equal your future, and your current unfavorable situation does not have to last if you choose to make it better. You are not your condition or circumstances, but YOU ARE your thoughts. Take 100% responsibility that your past thoughts and choices have lead exactly to where you are. Once you do you will feel in control of (and love) your life (empowerment, #1 on the ES).

13. Accept and plan to make mistakes. PERFECTIONISM equals and leads to PARALYSIS. Don’t beat yourself up when you do; regard mistakes as moments on your learning curve that will help take you to new heights. Learn from them and move on. Our hardest knocks teach us our most important lessons in life. We learn many more lessons from our failures than our successes, ask any sports team!

14. Think of a physical reminder that will help you keep your thoughts on track. Every time you feel you are drifting back to thoughts of scarcity, perform your little physical action to realign yourself with abundance. You could click your fingers, snap a rubber band on your wrist, or simply join your thumb to your forefinger as people do in meditation.

15.  Develop a mantra that you repeat every morning and evening or whenever you need a boost. An example I use is, “Every day and every in way the universe gives me more than I need!” 

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Move on Or Stay?

Question:  My partner and I don’t seem to connect anymore. What should/can I can do, or is it just time to move on/leave?

Frank’s Answer:  It’s too easy to only blame the other person. A better way to approach this is to look at if you are happy with who you are being in the relationship? If yes, then you need to get clear if both your paths are still aligned. I find values a strong predictor of relationship success. Not carbon copy values, but enough commonalities so you feel you share similar views on life’s major areas. At least have respect for each other.

If respect is gone and resentment has settled in and you no longer have more good times than bad, then re-evaluate if this fits YOUR minimum relationship expectations (what you would minimally want in a new partner). If not, being single (a little lonely at first but also excitement of potential new mate) is always better than in a bad relationship (feeling alone with a partner).

Communication is key here, you want to explore the topic in a courageously authentic fashion so you are transparent and are not holding any important facts or feelings back from your partner. Once you take responsibility for your inputs of the relationship and communicate clearly, then the right decision will become clearer. Until honest dialogue happens both partners may be operating from false/mistaken assumptions about the other. Clarity brings conscious choice.

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Manifesting Abundance Tricks and Tips!

I thought this week I would share a few tricks I have used effectively to manifest what I wanted.

Some tips:
#1. Create a Vision Board: for yourself with pictures of exotic locations and things, empowering thoughts and sayings. I use newspaper letters to use the fact our subconscious mind believes the printed word. We are visual, seeing what you want helps to show new combinations and relationships.

#2. Create a Purpose for Your Life: 
Pick something grandiose, exciting that fits your natural talents and gifts. The key: juicy language and must have vision. Some of the  ones on my board are: “I’m a Super Jedi Coach!” and “Frank’s Duty to the world: To Educate, Help (Coach) and Entertain!” Are you the “Wizard of Wall Street” or the “Magician of Merchandising”. It should be a powerful metaphor/image to have power.

#3. Be Authentic and Clear About What You Want!
Be as specific as possible. Most of us send a confused and scattered message to the universe, then we wonder why “our stuff” doesn’t happen or come the way we want. Write exactly what you want! Put it on the vision board! Imagine it done, how will it feel once done. Don’t worry about the “when” and “how”, just “what” and “why”. My example:  I am single and want to manifest a magical woman. I created a list of 43 “Must Haves” and “Nice to Haves” in a woman. I am now clear and will put my order out to the universe.

#4. Start Too Many Projects!t
I began 4 or 5 totally unrelated projects at teh same time! This sounds like madness right? I can’t start one and you’re telling me to start many? Exactly, the vision board allowed me to see inter-relationships that I never saw before. When I was bored or frustrated in one, I would move to another to keep excited and creative. Sometimes I took a week off completely. If I didn’t feel like doing it, I didn’t do it! That simple. Now of course I still amde deadlines and commitments. for true creative writing and building you need to be at Contentment (#6 on the emotional scale or higher). Below that, you don’t have access to great answers. It’s better then to go to nature, for a drive, anything else to allow your mind some down time.

#5: Allow Time 
Any good farmer knows it takes time for seeds to sprout. Once the seed is planted (your desired outcome) you must water (keep visualizing it as done) and sun (repeat what you want daily and believe it!) plus time. Most people give up just before things start happening! Give it time and remember, religions don’t have a monopoly on faith! Your inner strength is greater than the outside reality.

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MEDIA MADNESS!

I’m on a little bit of a rampage right now on the topic of media. I realize by writing the words I write here, that I am attracting and focusing on what I don’t want! So let’s call it a rant and then I will forever hold my pieces…I mean peace!

For those of you who have known me for a while, you know I made a life decision about 6 years ago to cut off all forms of “news” media. The idea behind the strategy was that, I am very sensitive person and the terrible stories, stayed with me long after I turned the TV off or put down the paper. I formulated that if I removed this MASSIVE NEGATIVE ENERGY BLAST from my life, my outlook on life, and the world at large would improve dramatically. So I stopped watching all news, reading all news and began listening to music only satellite radio stations (news-free!).

After 6 years on this “no news media kick”, I would like to report that my original thesis not only holds but I severely underestimated the damage caused by the nonsense called “news”. Some observations follow confirming my point:

  1. I was still aware of “need to know” life critical news via other people, people talk!
  2. I was amazed at how long “tragedies” like earthquakes in Haiti, tsunamis in the South Pacific, oil spill in the gulf stayed in the media excitement. The worst tragedies barely made it two weeks and were then forgotten
  3. I have learned that the typical media story ratio is 9 Negative stories for every 1 positive story  
  4. The average newscast is aimed at the reading comprehension level of a 10 year old! So you’re not exactly challenging your brain either!
  5. My personal view of life improved DRAMATICALLY! The media is a focused negative energy vibration beam that creates a (VERY NEGATIVELY) distorted view of the safety of the world. Think about it, they paint a fearful view of the world, don’t go there, you might get robbed/shot/molested (insert negative experience here _____________________)
  6. I’m never going back, I love my life, my attitude, my view of the world is that “there are opportunities everywhere!”.  Once you see the world this way, the law of Attraction will bring events and people to support that thesis. I don’t lock my door sometimes, I’m not afraid. By not being afraid, negative events always seem to miss me!
  7. Your body gets destroyed by acid that is caused by generalized fear. It’s different than a fear right in front of you. A fear in front of you can be acted  upon (example bear attacks!)

I’d love your feedback on this and, try a week without news, your Most Positive (Brilliant) Self will thank you!

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I Lost My Way!

It happens when you least expect it, you’re bumping along chasing all your dreams and the other people that you can co-collaborate with. Then WHAM! A couple of people around you “over-react” to something you said or did or were being. Now it’s one thing when one person mentions something, but when 2 do, then you need to listen, and good.
Those of you who are close to the hurricane that I call “Frank’s life” it’s probably easy to see, I’m running around with so many dream projects and get so excited about the future I believe I am creating that I forgot some people around me, most notably my business partner, PW and my good friend AS. Thank you guys for calling me on my #$%#^! I mean that.

My whole intent is to help as many people as I can with my work, as an author, coach, teacher, speaker and game show host. How ironic I hurt people closest to me. The large projects I have undertaken are all individually quite huge, multiply them by a number north of 10 and you can see some problems.

I realized today that there are 20 days of summer (plus a good September) left and that I barely did anything but work. Don’t get me wrong, I am extremely proud to have finished my book “Cobra in the Closet” last week. I’m very proud of the game we co-created, “Masks-Off”, the fact I started 3 new books, completed another, am currently creating a “Breakthrough in a Box’ concept and recording the Cobra audio book and working on the movie script +++.

No, I was saddened by the fact I lost the wonderful balance that allowed me to be creative enough to create those projects. When it’s not fun anymore (and used to be!) you need to re-prioritize. I’m committing now to slowing down and focusing on quality (thanks AS) not volume and speed which dilutes quality. I also commit to enjoying riding my motorcycle a lot more and visit friends. I also commit to go into social situations not to see “how powerful my mind power is”, but to help people and make them see their greatness. That’s an intention more in line with my Most Brilliant Self (MBS).
One of the great exercises that turned me around from anger was to create a “list of positive aspects” of the person I was angry at.

Example: “This person is a brilliant organizer, extremely devoted family person, always works hard on our projects, always is self-directed, etc.”  Within minutes my vibration (aka. MOOD) improved dramatically! Try it yourself next time you are in a resourceful state around someone.

Where do YOU need to re-prioritize and rebalance? Will you or will you do it? Or wait until you cause some pain and people push you away and you feel so lonely? Don’t do that, it’s not fun!

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