Defeating Depression: Two Wolves

Defeating Depression: Two Wolves Fighting
We have a mind whose scope and magnitude have NEVER been tested. Used correctly our minds are amazing instruments of power that can transform our lives once we learn to harness them.
Negative thoughts are like a cancer as they attract other negative thoughts, which destroy success vibration.
There is a great Native American story of a grandfather speaking to his young grandson who is learning his way in the world. The grandfather says,

“Imagine 2 wolves. They are fighting a great battle in your mind. One wolf, the good wolf, represents courage, love integrity, grit and compassion. The other wolf represents fear, hatred, dishonesty, weakness and heartlessness. the fight continues until one wolf wins.”

The grandson, curious, asks, “Which wolf wins the battle?”

The grandfather smiles and answers, “Whichever wolf you FEED.”  

If you feed your anger and sadness, you will create more anger and sadness. If you feed your love and courage, that is what you will get.

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How to Build Confidence and Destroy Fear

From an incredible book i’m reading called: “The Magic of Thinking Big” , here are 5 Powerful ideas to begin replacing fear with confidence.
1. Action dissipates fear: Isolate your fear and then take constructive action. Doing nothing (inaction) about a situation – strengthens fear and destroys confidence.
2. Make a Supreme Effort to put only Positive thoughts in your memory banks. Don’t let self deprecatory thoughts grow into mental monsters. Simply choose to refuse to recall unpleasant events and/or situations.

3. Put People in Proper Perspective: Remember people are much more alike than they are different.Get a balanced view of others, they are just human beings. Develop an understanding attitude. Many people will bark, but it’s a rare one who bites.

4. Practice doing what your conscience tells you is right. This prevents a poisonous guilt complex  from developing. Doing what is right is a very practical rule for success.
5. Make everything about you say, “I’m confident, really confident.” Practice these little tricks in your day to day activities. a) In all presentations: always take the front seat, you will be more engaged, b) always make confident eye contact, c) Walk faster, it looks more dynamic and you feel better (successful folks have a spring in their step), d) Speak up and be heard e) Smile big, teeth must show, when you smile your mood improves.
6. Invest in a great life coach such as myself. Book your Free sample session! Email me
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Perspective

Did you ever wonder why some people experience similar events but react completely differently? Well I do very often. I cam across some material this week that clarifies just that relationship.
 
C + P = E
Here is the formula:                                                Circumstances + Perspective = Experience 

In life we don’t control our circumstances nor our experience BUT we DO control our Perspective of events.

This brings us to failure: Our society simply has too negative a view of failure to the point where so many don’t even try or risk anything.
Too many people consider themselves a failure if they fail. This crushes them. Most people care more about what others think than our success.

A much superior and true perspective is that:

Failure is an Event Not Who You are! Winners keep stringing failures as they learn!

So when you have what you consider a failure or mess up, use this very supportive language: “That’s not Like me!” as it sends a message to our subconscious that this is unusual and NOT the status quo.

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“Why Wait Until They Die?”

Happy Halloween to everyone! May that be the only day a year you wear a mask of inauthenticity!

As I was at the gym this week I saw a funeral on television. As the procession advanced, the commentators were piling on the positive achievements and community impact of the gentleman in question.

It occurred to me that many people save all the great things they should tell others for after the person’s death. Now I know this may seem a little extreme, but really, is it?

Other than graduations, weddings and major career promotions, when do we tell the important people around us how much they mean to us? How often do we allow are ego (fear) stop us from telling our loved ones, friends and business partners how important they are in our lives and how amazing they are. I’ve been on this wavelength lately,

I’ve become quite complimentary and upbeat with EVERYONE I meet. From the gentleman and ladies who dutifully clean the lobby every morning as I go for a run. To anyone at any store I go to, anyone in the elevator, people are everywhere and I make it my duty to leave them somehow more joyful and appreciated. Don’t think for a second I am only doing it for them as I get just as much or more out of it than they do.

It’s astonishing (and so sad) how few people actually do walk through life in pure joy and appreciation (children and pets excluded as they know how and chose to feel good all the time).

These vibrations (joy/love/empowerment/freedom/appreciation) are #1 at the top of the emotional scale.

By feeling that good (not waiting for “good” things to happen to you before you are joyful) all the time you attract people, experiences and events that feel that good, this creates a “virtuous” circle. That is all you need to remember to tap into the most senior of all physical laws: the Law of Attraction. The same way the Law of Lift Supercedes the Law of Gravity (otherwise birds and planes wouldn’t fly!), whether you believe in the LoA or not doesn’t change that it works. The same way you don’t need to believe in gravity for it to work.

I dare you this week to shine a ray of sunshine and joy on everyone you meet, you will make their day. You may also make your own!

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What You Should Always Take

I came across this section in my upcoming book, “Live It!” (avail. Oct.). The original title of the book was “Take It!” and this section aimed to clarify what we should take (what is ours not others’). Enjoy!

WHAT YOU SHOULD ALWAYS TAKE

1. All opportunities put in front of you that resonate with you (connect to your soul and heart) You always learn more from the opportunities you take (even and especially if you fail, remember, we learn more from failure) than by not taking a chance.  By not trying you miss all the learning that occurs when taking chances.  Fortune favors the courageous and brave.  Not making a choice IS A CHOICE, a choice devoid of any courage or learning.  NOT making a choice is always the worst option as others then make their own choices, benefitting themselves.  If you don’t make a choice you lose the insight and self-actualizing benefits of trusting yourself.  Taking charge and making choices leads to feeling in charge of your life.

2. Life as a great game of exploration and adventure!  Doesn’t that sound like a great way to see it, instead of a great series of problems, hurdles and disappointments?

3. You always need to get clear on WHAT you want and WHY you want it Once you know what you want, life becomes so much simpler as you can choose powerfully and quickly and not look back with guilt.  This is your #1 quest in life, “What do I want (for myself) and why?” Once this is clear, a multitude of “difficult” or even seemingly “impossible” situations can be dealt with from a place of empowerment and certainty. That’s an amazing way to live!

4. The present moment as a gift.  Another name for a Christmas or birthday present is “gift”.  That is what the present moment is; a once in a lifetime gift never to be experienced again.  All of our power of decision and choice must necessarily occur in the present moment (since we can’t time travel yet).

The word decision is derived from Latin and means, “To cut off all other options.Much of your daily practice should center around being present to all the beauty of nature and the wonderful people around you.  Get out of your head and into your heart!  Any time we worry or are apprehensive (Fear), we are DEFINITELY NOT PRESENT!  In the present moment is where all action can occur.  Most people spend much too little time in the present moment.  We go back to the past and feel guilt or anger, or we think of the future, which is good if we see it as positive.  Many people simply dream of a better future.  A dream without a plan and action is simply a fantasy.

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Take That Shot!

In searching for a topic worthy of the newsletter this week, I borrowed from my newest book all about not only accepting but embracing your truest self, warts and all. It is called “Take It! Living and Loving a Courageously Authentic Life.” Which will be available nationwide in September.

Wayne Gretzky (hockey Hall of Famer widely considered one of the best hockey players to ever live) said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. It seems so obvious in sports but is also extremely applicable to our lives. What are the devastating and life-limiting side-effects of NOT TAKING (ANY?) SHOTS?

THE COSTS OF NOT TAKING A SHOT

  1. You miss all the opportunities (because you chose not to take a shot)
  2. You miss the learning and growth of trying, failing and persevering to take shots.
  3. Your ego gets to smugly hide behind a carefully crafted lie, “If we did try we would succeed!”
  4. The world doesn’t get the benefit of your “shot”, whatever the impact that would be it is certainly more than not doing anything.
  5. You don’t inspire anyone else to take shots around you. Those who regularly go for it inspire others by their actions (the main concept in Take-It!).

“Be the change you want to in the world.”  Ghandi

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Frogs

A close friend sent me this, exactly when I needed it of course (the universe always provides)! Enjoy!

 Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs….. Who arranged a running competition.

 The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower

 A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants. …

 The race began. Honestly, no one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. You heard statements such as: “Oh, WAY too difficult!!’ 

‘”They will NEVER make it to the top” or “Not a chance that they will succeed.. The tower is too high” 

The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one.Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher…. The crowd continued to yell,  “It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!’ 

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up  But one continued higher and higher and higher….
This one wouldn’t give up!    At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?
A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal

It turned out…. That the winner was DEAF!!!! 

Never listen to other people’s tendencies to be negative or pessimistic. …   because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you — the ones you have in your heart!

Always think of the power words haveBecause everything you hear and read will affect your actions ThereforeALWAYS be…. POSITIVEAnd above allBe DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!

Always think :God (the Universe) and I can do this!”

Pass this message on to 5 ‘tiny frogs’ you care about. Give them some motivation!! !

 Most people walk in and out of your life……but FRIENDS Leave footprints in your heart.

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“Smooth” is For Scotch and Skin . Not Life!


             This week was full of contrasts (contrast is an Abraham Hicks term for “feeling down”, (it also signifies the differences between the emotions) that challenged me but ultimately made me stronger. One of the days was a classic, “Everything that can possibly wrong will” type of day. It culminated with the forgetting and loss of my cell phone.

           The next day was the complete opposite where “Everything I touched turned to gold” I feel I had 100% responsibility in both. When we are down (#9-#22 on the ES) we attract other “down ” thoughts, ideas and experiences. when we are up we attract great ideas people and circumstances.

            Most people’s objective/goal in life is to have a “smooth” life, one in which there isn’t much turbulence or massive up and down swings. What could be better than a smooth life right? Having this approach to life is impossible for the simple reason that life is filled with uncertainty, variety and complexities. To use a metaphor, life is like the ocean. An ocean is powerful, stable, serene, filled with abundance but also has nasty storms, currents and waves that can crush weak ships.

Those people who attempt (it’s impossible!) to live a “smooth life” without too many contrasts often end up much more often “crushed to pieces” by the ocean which doesn’t play by “their” rules.  Life can throw you a multi-million dollar lottery ticket, a surprise and wanted baby, a divorce, deadly disease and a friend’s passing all in the same breath all on a sunny day.

What to do? The first step is to be realistic that life is an ocean and that the objective is to live with full freedom, passion and joy (this means building a ship (life) able to maneuver and handle the turbulence. The only way to do that is to enjoy the voyage by living passionately. Realizing that the contrasts are what make life so breath taking. You couldn’t enjoy the highs if there weren’t lows. Life is also like the ocean in that it has cycles and seasons. I believe our passions and passion for life help us ride out the storms and enjoy the placid days equally. What will you do to prepare your “life” ship for the reality of life’s ocean? Realizing that life is a wild ride is half the battle!

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3 Questions to Ask Yourself When Others Doubt Your Small Business

      In the theme of my upcoming seminar on “Expanding Your Business and Prosper” this week I share with you some questions to ask yourself when others doubt you (I know that never happens to YOU right? Haha!1.    How might you be doubting yourself?It’s always easier to blame others, the government, the economy, the competition than looking into ourselves. Focus on what you can control (what YOU do, not anyone outside you). Be honest with yourself, do you really believe in yourself and what you are doing? Is your mission powerful and inspirational for you and others. A weak mission statement can really hurt you and your business. If you doubt yourself so will others. Doubt is #13 on the ES (Above worry and below disappointment)

2.    What are your concerns about stepping out of your comfort zone and creating your business? It’s always helpful to get specific about how your thinking may create a mental environment of self doubt. Is your language weak, do you beat yourself up for mistakes? Running a small business requires vision and persistence, to ensure you have those you must really love what you are doing AND believe in it.

3.   On a Scale of 1-10 (1 Not Committed at all to 10 Fully Committed), How Committed are you to success in this business? Successrequires commitment. Before you see any results. This is a difficult concept for many new business owners, and is one of the key aspects of entrepreneurship that my clients and I work with in coaching.

By looking within, we usually make the connection between what’s showing up in “other people” and how it is always a mirror to what’s inside us. Once you truly “get” that YOU are responsible for everything happening, you get a rush of freedom moving like a deep cleansing breath through your body. “Aha, it was me all along!” When you realize this, you suddenly have choices about what you prefer to think, feel and attract. Remember, “thoughts that are emotionalized are magnetized!” Our new choices cause the Law of Attraction to match us up with entirely new people and experiences. Often, co-collaborators pop out of the woodwork.

As you consciously and deliberately change your vibration (a skill anyone can practice) you’re no longer a match to “doubt”. And surprise, others don’t doubt you!

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Converting Scarcity Perspectives to Abundant Ones

Turning Scarcity Perspectives to Abundance!

      As I work diligently to bring you my next book, “Take It!” (Avail. Aug. 2012), I wanted to share part of a chapter where I reframe some scarcity perspectives into abundance perspectives. My whole idea here is that our interpretations of events are often EVEN MORE important than the events themselves. Enjoy!

Scarcity: “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”

Abundance: “There is more than enough money for great people and ideas when I allow!”

Scarcity: “You need to go to school to have any hope of getting a good job and security”

Abundance: “What creates security is passion for what you do, and the fact you know you are unique and can tap that uniqueness to help the world.”

Scarcity: “There’s not enough money to get you the present you really wanted.”

Abundance: “We gave you this gift coming from love and joy.”

Scarcity: “The plant closed, daddy lost his job, we have to sell the house”

Abundance: “The plant closed, daddy lost his job and now he gets to do what he really wants and we are also moving to make a new start!”

Scarcity: “Find a good woman/man soon as you can’t meet anyone when you are over the hill/ over 40.”

Abundance: “The perfect person is out there for you and will be there when you allow the time and space for them and really like and embrace your authentic, most brilliant self.”

Scarcity: “Be careful when you cross the street.”

Abundance: “Have a blast out there!”

Scarcity: “Don’t talk to strangers.”

Abundance: “The world is your family/playground!”

Scarcity: “Take care!”

Abundance: “Have an adventurous, exciting and empowering day!”

Scarcity: “Don’t say what you think at work, you may get fired!”

Abundance: “Be your true (authentic) self at work!”


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