Spring and Change are in the Air!

          One constant in life seems to be change. Whether we want it or not, the world is always changing. We often feel threatened by change as we worry we will lose what we have or won’t like the new situation.
          I am no exception to this rule. Over the last week so many things that were working well (or so I thought!) have had some challenges. Some of the things that were not working very well suddenly improved dramatically seemingly “out of the blue”.
           I find that term “out of the blue” interesting. Apparently, it signifies thunder and lightning coming out of the sky (blue). In French, it is “tombe du ciel” meaning “falling from the sky”.
            Last weekend, a close friend of mine was visiting and we were both quite shocked and alarmed at how the weekend progressed. It all ended very well, but there were quite a few bumps. At the root was the fact we had not really seen each other for almost a year. Both of us were quite different to each other and triggered some of our own inadequacies.
In our cases, in my humble opinion we are both used to being the most intense persons in the room!
            Imagine two people like that in the same areas for extended periods! Fireworks! That said, I truly know we both got exactly what we needed out of last weekend and we are both exactly where we need to be on our own unique life journeys.
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Manifesting Abundance Tricks and Tips!

I thought this week I would share a few tricks I have used effectively to manifest what I wanted.

Some tips:
#1. Create a Vision Board: for yourself with pictures of exotic locations and things, empowering thoughts and sayings. I use newspaper letters to use the fact our subconscious mind believes the printed word. We are visual, seeing what you want helps to show new combinations and relationships.

#2. Create a Purpose for Your Life: 
Pick something grandiose, exciting that fits your natural talents and gifts. The key: juicy language and must have vision. Some of the  ones on my board are: “I’m a Super Jedi Coach!” and “Frank’s Duty to the world: To Educate, Help (Coach) and Entertain!” Are you the “Wizard of Wall Street” or the “Magician of Merchandising”. It should be a powerful metaphor/image to have power.

#3. Be Authentic and Clear About What You Want!
Be as specific as possible. Most of us send a confused and scattered message to the universe, then we wonder why “our stuff” doesn’t happen or come the way we want. Write exactly what you want! Put it on the vision board! Imagine it done, how will it feel once done. Don’t worry about the “when” and “how”, just “what” and “why”. My example:  I am single and want to manifest a magical woman. I created a list of 43 “Must Haves” and “Nice to Haves” in a woman. I am now clear and will put my order out to the universe.

#4. Start Too Many Projects!t
I began 4 or 5 totally unrelated projects at teh same time! This sounds like madness right? I can’t start one and you’re telling me to start many? Exactly, the vision board allowed me to see inter-relationships that I never saw before. When I was bored or frustrated in one, I would move to another to keep excited and creative. Sometimes I took a week off completely. If I didn’t feel like doing it, I didn’t do it! That simple. Now of course I still amde deadlines and commitments. for true creative writing and building you need to be at Contentment (#6 on the emotional scale or higher). Below that, you don’t have access to great answers. It’s better then to go to nature, for a drive, anything else to allow your mind some down time.

#5: Allow Time 
Any good farmer knows it takes time for seeds to sprout. Once the seed is planted (your desired outcome) you must water (keep visualizing it as done) and sun (repeat what you want daily and believe it!) plus time. Most people give up just before things start happening! Give it time and remember, religions don’t have a monopoly on faith! Your inner strength is greater than the outside reality.

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The Entrepreneur’s Dilemma:

QuestionI’m a health care professional and entrepreneur and from time to time I find myself in a rut, questioning my abilities, if I’m doing the right thing, should I do something else…I have a couple of what I think are great personal and career opportunities at the moment, and I want to know what the best way is to stay fresh, energized, enthusiastic about these projects. Also, because they’re entrepreneurial in nature, there’s risk, all types of different risks, financial, personal, opportunity costs and the like. I want to stay energized and passionate about the opportunities while at the same time staying level headed. How do I stay passionate and energized enough to defend my ideas about these opportunities while being open minded and flexible about suggestions/criticisms from others. How do I manage the dilemma of having the fire, but also realistic?                DP

Frank’s Reply:
Firstly, we all get in ruts sometimes, but I would watch my language (as language shapes our experience), call it a “creative break” or a “refocus period”, as if you’ve ever really been stuck in a winter icy rut with your bald tires, tough to get out and the word is powerful for your subconscious mind!

Whenever we tackle something for the first few times we are complete and utterly “lost” and relatively “useless” as we have few reference points or guide points letting us know “proceed you are on the right track” or something similar. I’m hearing a fair amount of enthusiasm (great! Passion #2 on the ES) but also fear (awful feeling #22 on the ES!). Trust your intuition on these “great” opportunities and follow them as far as they feel good to you and motivate you, otherwise put them aside and focus on what’s working.

The best way to feel fresh and energized with these projects is to fully commit all of you to them, don’t hold back (your STUMPS (acronym for Saboteur Trickster Most Pathetic Self in “u”) is telling you to be guarded and not give 100%), don’t listen, do it anyway. Remember it’s not what you do that is important but who you become in the trials and tribulations of trying, failing and dusting yourself off and trying again. Being an entrepreneur is a lonely profession, I know. Thousands of untold invested hours with sometimes zero external money or result to show for it, that’s why many prefer a cushy job, guaranteed income.  The fact you have multiple projects is a great testament to others’ confidence in you and your openness, trust that side of yourself.

As for Realistic VS Passion, they are polar opposites and inversely correlated. As an early stage entrepreneur I would lean 80% passion, 20% realistic as all great breakthroughs were not realistic.
Realistic is for losers and those who work in bean-counter organizations, not us little mice (vs. dinosaur) entrepreneurs. Besides realistic has no vision, juice or power! Passion can sell any idea to anyone.

I would make sure I have well set out goal milestones and these need to be things you know are needed to succeed, but NOT the final result, keep reframing it bigger. Here’s an example from my work.

  • When I first had the idea of Cobra in the Closet project I wanted to write about my client’s progress over 37 days.
  • I had no clear goals in writing other than to capture what was occurring and my evaluation (still in experiment/report mode)
  • Then as I began writing more and more (what I thought were good pages) I realized I loved writing this book and committed to writing a minimum of 3 pages a day in it (with no final target).
  • I soon realized my experiment subject was not playing her “role” as student / coachee at all”. At this point I wanted to quit saying “how can I write a book about coaching her if she doesn’t want to be coached?
  • I realized then, my viewpoint was too small so I reframed it (helped by the journaling in the book I was writing). I reframed it this way:

“I may fail as a coach, Jen may fail as a student but the project succeeds madly!”

This took a lot of pressure off me, and allowed me to continue.

Last point: As an entrepreneur: Other people will criticize and try to discourage you mostly because it is so confronting to have someone go for their dreams when you have not followed yours. Society is hypercritical and small minded. As an entrepreneur, hang with others who are on similar paths as they get it, all others especially close family and friends come from “well-meaning fear” but they steal all our passion and juice and give our STUMPS ammunition. They are dream-stealers….avoid them as it takes too much energy to “defend” as you say. Trust me over time no one will get to you, as you don’t give them an inch, your vibration is so strong and sure, they feel it and buy in!

Good luck let us know how it goes!

Transition Season

There you have it folks, the summer (beautiful in Toronto!) of 2011 is almost done! You can feel it in the crisp evenings, in the way people are dressing nicely for work, and conversations transition to more fall like subjects such as hiking, wool sweaters, school and back to “serious” work.  I hope the summer was good to you, as it was for me. Fall is actually my favorite season, with the leaves changing colors, Halloween, watching movies, riding the Dakar in the fall as long as I can til the slippery white stuff flies (shhh!, maybe it will forget Jthis year)!

I’m, actually happy to return to teaching at the college. I feel disconnected from the world in summers as I have too much time off (I know it’s tough!), probably more like no structure and place I need to be for 10 weeks! I really love teaching, I get to share some of my insights with (mostly sometimes) hungry young minds who still dream like it’s still totally REALLY possible. They think big and crazy (like I do!). Can you say the same? Do you still dream FULL ON, no holds barred? Or have you settled into a “comfortable” not too challenging rhythm. As comfortable as it may be, we need change and growth and new things to really thrive and live like it means something.

Remember, “This is not a practice life!”, we don’t get a redo, or “scene 2”. This is it! Live it like you mean it, like it counts, like you just thought you had terminal cancer and will die in 60 days. If you don’t love your life or are like, “it’s there, you know, not bad, etc”. If that’s what you say, get uncomfortable, take a class, go on a date with a dicey person, say something or do something bold. Don’t let your life fade to “average”. You weren’t meant for average, don’t even try it’s so unbecoming! So go out there live like you mean it, I DOUBLE DARE YOU!

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LIFE: TAKE-IT!

“Life is but a gift” Before you roll your eyes and tune out, please don’t! I know it’s clichéd and in this world of short attention spans that’s a no-no, but bear with me!There’s no easy way to say this: a close young (34 years old, I believe) friend of a family member has been diagnosed with stage 2 terminal pancreatic and liver cancer. Upon visiting his doctor 3 weeks ago with generalized pain, within 2 days the doctor asked him to get his financial affairs in order as he had but weeks to months to live. He is the proud father of a one year old daughter. I share this with you because it has been in my life’s forefront for the last few weeks, and I always write about what is important and very present to me.

I tell you this to use it as a backdrop for a few points I keep wrestling with myself.

  1. The first issue is obviously about living our lives in every moment as if this day was a gift and definitely not to be taken for granted but that one is obvious.
  2. Secondly, we were only given one body for this life. It has to last us for the whole journey and be as trouble free as possible so we can enjoy the years with full vitality and power. Sadly, most people treat their bodies very poorly, packing them with unhealthy food, sedentary movement habits (the body does best in motion) and worst perhaps of all is stress (external and self-created)
  3. Take chances and do the things you know you will regret if you don’t do them. Don’t live in a safe, “everyday is the same, let’s play it safe” bubble, you and the world deserve better.
  4. Do not ever give more than passing credence to what a health practitioner tells you about your health. Yes, they are experts on disease, but no they don’t know you, how you heal, etc. I believe what the doctor above said to the patient to be literally criminal. As smart as doctors are, what they give you is an informed opinion but not the truth. So many people have had “terminal” diagnoses and decided to focus and visualize on how their bodies were destroying invaders. It is now being taught to young doctors, don’t wait until yours gets the (late) memo. Once you accept someone else’s vision of your life, your subconscious makes it real and brings it.

To this young man I wish all the best and a “miraculous” (to science anyway) complete and full recovery, join me in sending your positive vibes!

That is all.

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Bountiful Busybody Busy People!

If I hear one more person complain of just “how busy their life is” I’m going to lose it! A close friend this week mentioned to me how he was too busy to do anything he wanted, his life was filled with “commitments he had made for reasons other than my happiness”. He also confirmed that he was trying to meet a woman for the first time and she had the same problem!

I thank him for sharing this as it highlights an observation I’ve made in the last few months. This adds to the many times people are too busy to go out and see a movie or have a drink. Are we really busy in our lives or are we “acting busy” by scheduling ourselves to within an inch of sanity for other reasons? I think many fear too much idle time as society has pushed all to strive to be workaholics. But it’s not just work people are filling their time with. Many people are afraid of a day that they are not “needed” or “wanted” or “required as a key asset”.

If this is just a Toronto thing, then so be it. But I feel it’s bigger than that. I would love to hear back from readers whether they think it is just a Toronto or “big city” affliction or a more generalized condition.

Listen, it’s your life. If you are always “overscheduled” and feel stressed about it (this includes self-medicating with TV, shopping, alcohol or cigarettes) you should get courageous and authentic.

I challenge you to take a list of your daily activities. I would say if less than 30% of those activities give you joy or pleasure, you are at risk of “living a practice life”. Arrange your life in terms of the things that bring you joy. Do not allow the media to paint you a picture of a “cold” and “grim” (Halloween anyone) world. It’s just not true, I see smiling happy people and am one of them, so sue me! I challenge you to decrease your commitments so you have time for optional activities like an evening to vedge out, sleep, drinks and movies. Downtime IS NOT A luxury these days, don’t let your health remind you.

Passing
The gentleman I wrote about a few weeks ago passed away last Friday. I wish him well on his journey on the other side and know he got and we also all got exactly what the universe wanted us to get from this information and experience. I know I have, life is sooo precious, really. Try waking up and appreciating all you have every morning,as I have, it’s so releasing and puts us at ease!

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Embracing “Real” (not Hollywood) Courage

I find courage is often misunderstood. Most people equate courage to bravery. While it can be, more often I belies it is a quiet strength. I believe the media often confuses us with extreme feats in the face of once in a life time events or not at all.

What about a mother’s courage to provide for her kids every single day of 20 odd years?
What of the courage of a disabled person to continue living even in a severely different way?
And  the courage to leave a bad job/ relationship for reasons only you can understand?
How about the courage to quit a perfectly “good” job to strike out on your own and follow what makes your heart sing, even if you have no idea when/if the money will come.

I am convinced that courage is built in small increments.
Begin with small but certain acts of courage such as:

The courage to listen to your heart
The courage to say no
The courage to be yourself despite criticism and judgments of others (a person in Joy/Appreciation/Empowerment/Love Freedom would never criticize others).
The courage to get back up when you make mistakes or fall flat on your face MANY times….

Courage is a Muscle if you don’t use it you’ll lose it!
Worse, you will live a shadow of the life you were meant to live.

By living small (or inauthentically) you rob the world (and your Most Brilliant Self) of what it needs: huge growth and change.

I challenge you to push and strengthen your courage muscle! Your life will thank you!
Oh yes above all, have fun!

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