Milestone Celebrations

      A few weeks ago, my cousin got engaged, congratulations cuzmonious!

      As he told me the wondrous news I was so excited, I didn’t know what to say so I said what most people do, “When’s the wedding?”  He replied by telling me that he had planned the engagement for a few months and just wanted to breathe and savor having successfully posed the question and received a “yes” answer.

This little interlude is very telling of how most of us live life. We work hard and diligently and succeed at the milestones we set for ourselves. Do we savor the moment and all it took to get there? Do we relish our victory and share it for weeks to come? No we don’t. We are already focusing on the next milestone.

I believe this is a derivative of how pride is seen as a deadly sin. I’m sorry, but if you worked hard and reached a goal, you should be proud and celebrate and savor and share it for as long as you want to! I think where it’s a sin is when we let our ego get the best of us coming from insecurity.

One of the key things I do with coaching clients is have them celebrate and relish their achievements and really start celebrating more. Life is too long to only celebrate the “big” moments like weddings, graduations and new jobs.

I challenge you to celebrate a minor milestone and share and savor it all week.

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How to Get Market/Date Ready

Reader Question

This week, I thought I’d share a question I answered for one of our readers.

QUESTION: “I’m still upset/heartbroken over my past relationship(s). How (and when?) do I get “market-ready” to date?” JC

Frank: The simple answer JC, you’re ready when you are ready! What’s the rush anyway? That being said, everyone is different. You are ready when the idea of going out with someone new is very appealing. Too many people the fear being alone and then start dating coming from a lacking place. Anything coming from fear/lack is not a good perspective and will attract other fearful/lacking people.

When you’ve done some inner work towards getting to know and love yourself you will be ready. Many people don’t love (or even like) themselves and look to a relationship to fill up what they are missing. Two low self-esteem people do not a good couple make! Inadequate + inadequate = More inadequate! And they trigger each other’s unresolved “baggage” together making a mess.

When you become single after a relationship (never mind a heartbreaker!) you need time to get to know what the new (and improved), latest version of you likes and wants. Many people right out of a relationship feel rejected, dejected, unworthy (unworthiness is #21 on the ES). They feel less than complete and feel lost. A good way to soften is to look for all the gifts the relationship gave you, who YOU became because of it. You are VERY aware of what didn’t work, flip that around to what you do want. So, if you felt your last partner was “controlling”, you could say, “I’m looking for someone who values freedom (#1 on the ES) as I do.”

A certain amount of grieving must occur to process the emotions. Be gentle and enjoy exploring your “new” very different life. Reconnect to old and make new friends and hobbies/passions. Don’t look immediately for a partner as then the dreaded “rebound” relationships occur. Do the right thing and take some time to be curious about all that is possible. Most people look at what they lost instead of what they gained from their separation. When coming from lack you attract others in lack.

Good luck and please let us know how it goes!  

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Get Some Bugs in Your Teeth!

       As I drove my amazing and beautiful dog (Riplee) to the groomer yesterday, he did what he always does on any and ALL car rides. He gets all excited and sits next to the rear door window and puts his head out of the car as we zoom around city and highway. If you’ve seen the movie “Ted” my conversation with him below will seem similar…lol!

I had an imaginary conversation with him and thought it might give you some insight! Enjoy!

Frank: “Riplee why do you put your head outside the car while it’s moving?”

Riplee: “Woof!”then, “I love it because it feels like I’m flying! Also, I get to see the world zoom by! It’s really exhilarating and makes me feel alive and like when I was a pup!”

Frank: “But, isn’t it dangerous?”

Riplee: “Not really, I have good balance and only my head and neck are out. Besides even if it is the thrill is worth it! I’m also so excited because I know we are going somewhere and no matter where that is I will have a blast as people fawn all over me because I’m really cute!”

Frank:  “What about the wind, doesn’t dry your eyes?”

Riplee: “Yes, that’s why I pop into the car then put my head out of the sunroof to change things up!”

Frank:  “What about bugs hitting you?”

Riplee: “Couldn’t care less, it’s soooo fun to ride! People always point and smile at how much fun I’m having! I especially love the squealing little boys and girls, they don’t hold back and show their full appreciation!”

Frank:  “Wow, that sounds so fun, here, you drive, I want to try it too!!!!”

Riplee: “No way, sucker, YOU’RE MY DRIVER!”

Life is short, get some (metaphorical) bugs in your teeth this week, I double-dare you!

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Move on Or Stay?

Question:  My partner and I don’t seem to connect anymore. What should/can I can do, or is it just time to move on/leave?

Frank’s Answer:  It’s too easy to only blame the other person. A better way to approach this is to look at if you are happy with who you are being in the relationship? If yes, then you need to get clear if both your paths are still aligned. I find values a strong predictor of relationship success. Not carbon copy values, but enough commonalities so you feel you share similar views on life’s major areas. At least have respect for each other.

If respect is gone and resentment has settled in and you no longer have more good times than bad, then re-evaluate if this fits YOUR minimum relationship expectations (what you would minimally want in a new partner). If not, being single (a little lonely at first but also excitement of potential new mate) is always better than in a bad relationship (feeling alone with a partner).

Communication is key here, you want to explore the topic in a courageously authentic fashion so you are transparent and are not holding any important facts or feelings back from your partner. Once you take responsibility for your inputs of the relationship and communicate clearly, then the right decision will become clearer. Until honest dialogue happens both partners may be operating from false/mistaken assumptions about the other. Clarity brings conscious choice.

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The Cottage

Having had the pleasure of visiting my close friend Chris (thank you so much CP) up at a wonderful lakeside cottage up in Haliburton I thought I’d write my thoughts since return.

  1. I need a cottage! It reconnects me with nature and puts my crazy “do,do,do” lifestyle in perspective.
  2. My dog loves a lake to chase sticks and balls in!
  3. We don’t eat so well when there are chips, pop and beer around all the time!
  4. The stress of the big city is palpable upon arrival beginning with traffic
  5. People in the country are so laid back, it’s nice
  6. Swimming in a lake is still an amazing experience after many years absence
  7. Cool nights by a campfire rule
  8. A nice nap in a cool cottage afternoon is a blissful experience with little to do or complete
  9. Playing cards with friends connects deeply
  10. We worry much too much about things we have little to no control over
  11.  Coming back from a short 3 day vacation, it’s hard to restart the momentum we had, the mental, spiritual and physical adjustments can take a few days
  12. I’ve already made plans to go to another cottage in 2 weeks, darn, I think I have cottage fever                ********************************************************************************************************

Celebrating 6 Months of the “Quantum Leap Living” Newsletter

I’m proud of the fact this December 2nd newsletter marks the beginning of the 7thmonth of bringing you Canada’s only weekly Law of Attraction newsletter. For those of you who have enjoyed it from the very beginning, thank you for your support and I hope you get as much out of it as I put in.

I won’t lie to you, there were many weeks where Thursday’s would roll around and I had no idea what to write! This is the truth. Like all things, sometimes you just gut it out. What helped me was knowing I was touching people on the other end. Your feedback and questions have been particularly supportive and inspiring as we often go through similar life trials and tribulations! I will endeavour to make the next 6 months even better as we roll out the Law of Attraction Meetup Group (http://www.meetup.com/The-GTA-Law-of-Attraction-Group/), seminars, books, Masks-Off! and all manner of other things we haven’t yet even created for you!

Three Ways to Manifest and Attract Abundance

I’m often asked, “What’s the best way for me to start attracting abundance into my life?”

This is a great question and here’s my answer.

There are 3 Ways to Manifest powerfully and quickly. Here they are, in no particular order or level of effectiveness.

1. Begin visualizing/imagining specifically/exactly what you want and (MORE IMPORTANTLY) what it will feel like when you have it. You must feel it as if it already happened (not I hope!). Example: “I see/feel myself driving a 2012 Metallic Blue BMW M3 Coupe.” Don’t ever spend any time (zero time) focusing on HOW it will happen as that will destroy your feeling and all attraction!

2. Begin visualizing/imagining a general idea of what you want and (MORE IMPORTANTLY) what it will feel like when you have it. You must feel it as if it already happened (not I hope!). Example: “I see/feel myself driving a Blue luxury sports coupe.” Don’t ever spend any time (zero time) focusing on HOW it will happen as that will destroy your feeling and all attraction!

3. Be Happy! I know this one seems too easy! It’s not. When you feel good all the time, you beam out Joy/Appreciation/Empowerment/Love and those are all #1 on the emotional scale. They supercharge your attraction! Your ONE AND ONLY objective in life is to be happy! NOT only when things are going your way. Most people wait until the “right” conditions (always out of our hands mostly) appear to be happy. Choose happiness first then more comes. It just works!

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