Tips to Practice Abundant Thinking

From my upcoming book, “Live It! Your Courageously Authentic Life” (Available on presale in September):

1. Decide and commit immediately to start to think abundant thoughts then do it. Put a penny in a jar for every positive thought you have (a forced easy saving method, hint spend the savings on something nice like a trip!)

2. Actually count (and record/journal) your numerous blessings right now, and start being grateful (Appreciation is #1 on the ES) for all the amazing things, people and experiences in your life.

3. Stop thinking and talking about what you believe you DON’T have. Instead, focus on creating the circumstances that you do want. Develop your passion, interests, knowledge, and skills in areas that will help you achieve more.

4. Replace “could’ve”, “should’ve” and “would’ve” with “I want” or “I will soon have”. Begin visualizing and feeling what it will be like to have it (tell your mind the “How” and “WHEN” is not your responsibility).

5. Don’t feel guilty (Guilt, #21 on the ES) for wanting / desiring. It is your personal choice to strive for happiness for yourself and others.

6. You can want, but NEVER create specific expectations. Having expectations leads to disappointment. Be “committed” yet not “attached” to a particular result or outcome.

7. Create zero expectations of what you will receive. Do not automatically assume that you will receive anything. Just know that anything and everything is possible and invite that abundance into your life. Be abundant (generous) with your emotions  and time with others, be appreciative, passionate, free and loving.

8. Be mentally prepared (but not focused) on worst-case scenarios. Know that in the right emotional state you can and will handle anything and everything the world (recall, like an ocean) will throw at you and this easily. If you meet your goals, it will add to the happiness you already enjoy; if not, it doesn’t matter because you are happy with what you already have.

9. Eliminate thinking the world owes you a living and that you deserve to receive what you want. Everything you receive in life is a gift. The world doesn’t owe you anything, but its abundance is capable of giving you anything and everything you desire. Give more, expect less.

10. Remember the universe is fair, you must give to receive but NEVER give EXPECTING to receive.

11. Stop feeling cheated, and like a victim (Powerlessness, #22 on the ES). This is a scarcity perspective. Take control and responsibility of your life (and by extension) your own happiness.

12. Know that your past does not equal your future, and your current unfavorable situation does not have to last if you choose to make it better. You are not your condition or circumstances, but YOU ARE your thoughts. Take 100% responsibility that your past thoughts and choices have lead exactly to where you are. Once you do you will feel in control of (and love) your life (empowerment, #1 on the ES).

13. Accept and plan to make mistakes. PERFECTIONISM equals and leads to PARALYSIS. Don’t beat yourself up when you do; regard mistakes as moments on your learning curve that will help take you to new heights. Learn from them and move on. Our hardest knocks teach us our most important lessons in life. We learn many more lessons from our failures than our successes, ask any sports team!

14. Think of a physical reminder that will help you keep your thoughts on track. Every time you feel you are drifting back to thoughts of scarcity, perform your little physical action to realign yourself with abundance. You could click your fingers, snap a rubber band on your wrist, or simply join your thumb to your forefinger as people do in meditation.

15.  Develop a mantra that you repeat every morning and evening or whenever you need a boost. An example I use is, “Every day and every in way the universe gives me more than I need!” 

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Summer 2012: Your Best Ever!

As I was preparing my men’s circle last week I created a few questions to get the men pumped up about their summer of 2012. Well, we are 2 days in with 88 days to go and what will you do to make this a summer to end all summers?

            When I coach, I often use little “tricks” (techniques) to shift the perspective of my clients, which allows them to come up with new, fresher and more empowering viewpoints on their existing challenges. One of those is the future or past time warp where I have them see their situation from the future as if it has already happened.

Here is the question I had them share with the group, I urge you to try it yourself!

“It is September 1st, 2012 and the summer of 2012 turned out to be my best summer ever! I really grabbed my life and did _________________ and  _____________________ and ________________ and __________________ . I also visited ________________ and _________________ .

I had 2 major challenges this summer, _______________________ and ____________________ . I overcame these challenges by _______________________.

I’m really proud of myself.”

 

Hopefully that really brought you some clarity and inspiration in terms of what you want for yourself this summer. All I will add is have fun, the summer solstice is but a brief visitor! Have a great summer.

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Move on Or Stay?

Question:  My partner and I don’t seem to connect anymore. What should/can I can do, or is it just time to move on/leave?

Frank’s Answer:  It’s too easy to only blame the other person. A better way to approach this is to look at if you are happy with who you are being in the relationship? If yes, then you need to get clear if both your paths are still aligned. I find values a strong predictor of relationship success. Not carbon copy values, but enough commonalities so you feel you share similar views on life’s major areas. At least have respect for each other.

If respect is gone and resentment has settled in and you no longer have more good times than bad, then re-evaluate if this fits YOUR minimum relationship expectations (what you would minimally want in a new partner). If not, being single (a little lonely at first but also excitement of potential new mate) is always better than in a bad relationship (feeling alone with a partner).

Communication is key here, you want to explore the topic in a courageously authentic fashion so you are transparent and are not holding any important facts or feelings back from your partner. Once you take responsibility for your inputs of the relationship and communicate clearly, then the right decision will become clearer. Until honest dialogue happens both partners may be operating from false/mistaken assumptions about the other. Clarity brings conscious choice.

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Converting Scarcity Perspectives to Abundant Ones

Turning Scarcity Perspectives to Abundance!

      As I work diligently to bring you my next book, “Take It!” (Avail. Aug. 2012), I wanted to share part of a chapter where I reframe some scarcity perspectives into abundance perspectives. My whole idea here is that our interpretations of events are often EVEN MORE important than the events themselves. Enjoy!

Scarcity: “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”

Abundance: “There is more than enough money for great people and ideas when I allow!”

Scarcity: “You need to go to school to have any hope of getting a good job and security”

Abundance: “What creates security is passion for what you do, and the fact you know you are unique and can tap that uniqueness to help the world.”

Scarcity: “There’s not enough money to get you the present you really wanted.”

Abundance: “We gave you this gift coming from love and joy.”

Scarcity: “The plant closed, daddy lost his job, we have to sell the house”

Abundance: “The plant closed, daddy lost his job and now he gets to do what he really wants and we are also moving to make a new start!”

Scarcity: “Find a good woman/man soon as you can’t meet anyone when you are over the hill/ over 40.”

Abundance: “The perfect person is out there for you and will be there when you allow the time and space for them and really like and embrace your authentic, most brilliant self.”

Scarcity: “Be careful when you cross the street.”

Abundance: “Have a blast out there!”

Scarcity: “Don’t talk to strangers.”

Abundance: “The world is your family/playground!”

Scarcity: “Take care!”

Abundance: “Have an adventurous, exciting and empowering day!”

Scarcity: “Don’t say what you think at work, you may get fired!”

Abundance: “Be your true (authentic) self at work!”


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Manifesting Abundance Tricks and Tips!

I thought this week I would share a few tricks I have used effectively to manifest what I wanted.

Some tips:
#1. Create a Vision Board: for yourself with pictures of exotic locations and things, empowering thoughts and sayings. I use newspaper letters to use the fact our subconscious mind believes the printed word. We are visual, seeing what you want helps to show new combinations and relationships.

#2. Create a Purpose for Your Life: 
Pick something grandiose, exciting that fits your natural talents and gifts. The key: juicy language and must have vision. Some of the  ones on my board are: “I’m a Super Jedi Coach!” and “Frank’s Duty to the world: To Educate, Help (Coach) and Entertain!” Are you the “Wizard of Wall Street” or the “Magician of Merchandising”. It should be a powerful metaphor/image to have power.

#3. Be Authentic and Clear About What You Want!
Be as specific as possible. Most of us send a confused and scattered message to the universe, then we wonder why “our stuff” doesn’t happen or come the way we want. Write exactly what you want! Put it on the vision board! Imagine it done, how will it feel once done. Don’t worry about the “when” and “how”, just “what” and “why”. My example:  I am single and want to manifest a magical woman. I created a list of 43 “Must Haves” and “Nice to Haves” in a woman. I am now clear and will put my order out to the universe.

#4. Start Too Many Projects!t
I began 4 or 5 totally unrelated projects at teh same time! This sounds like madness right? I can’t start one and you’re telling me to start many? Exactly, the vision board allowed me to see inter-relationships that I never saw before. When I was bored or frustrated in one, I would move to another to keep excited and creative. Sometimes I took a week off completely. If I didn’t feel like doing it, I didn’t do it! That simple. Now of course I still amde deadlines and commitments. for true creative writing and building you need to be at Contentment (#6 on the emotional scale or higher). Below that, you don’t have access to great answers. It’s better then to go to nature, for a drive, anything else to allow your mind some down time.

#5: Allow Time 
Any good farmer knows it takes time for seeds to sprout. Once the seed is planted (your desired outcome) you must water (keep visualizing it as done) and sun (repeat what you want daily and believe it!) plus time. Most people give up just before things start happening! Give it time and remember, religions don’t have a monopoly on faith! Your inner strength is greater than the outside reality.

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The Cottage

Having had the pleasure of visiting my close friend Chris (thank you so much CP) up at a wonderful lakeside cottage up in Haliburton I thought I’d write my thoughts since return.

  1. I need a cottage! It reconnects me with nature and puts my crazy “do,do,do” lifestyle in perspective.
  2. My dog loves a lake to chase sticks and balls in!
  3. We don’t eat so well when there are chips, pop and beer around all the time!
  4. The stress of the big city is palpable upon arrival beginning with traffic
  5. People in the country are so laid back, it’s nice
  6. Swimming in a lake is still an amazing experience after many years absence
  7. Cool nights by a campfire rule
  8. A nice nap in a cool cottage afternoon is a blissful experience with little to do or complete
  9. Playing cards with friends connects deeply
  10. We worry much too much about things we have little to no control over
  11.  Coming back from a short 3 day vacation, it’s hard to restart the momentum we had, the mental, spiritual and physical adjustments can take a few days
  12. I’ve already made plans to go to another cottage in 2 weeks, darn, I think I have cottage fever                ********************************************************************************************************

Transition Season

There you have it folks, the summer (beautiful in Toronto!) of 2011 is almost done! You can feel it in the crisp evenings, in the way people are dressing nicely for work, and conversations transition to more fall like subjects such as hiking, wool sweaters, school and back to “serious” work.  I hope the summer was good to you, as it was for me. Fall is actually my favorite season, with the leaves changing colors, Halloween, watching movies, riding the Dakar in the fall as long as I can til the slippery white stuff flies (shhh!, maybe it will forget Jthis year)!

I’m, actually happy to return to teaching at the college. I feel disconnected from the world in summers as I have too much time off (I know it’s tough!), probably more like no structure and place I need to be for 10 weeks! I really love teaching, I get to share some of my insights with (mostly sometimes) hungry young minds who still dream like it’s still totally REALLY possible. They think big and crazy (like I do!). Can you say the same? Do you still dream FULL ON, no holds barred? Or have you settled into a “comfortable” not too challenging rhythm. As comfortable as it may be, we need change and growth and new things to really thrive and live like it means something.

Remember, “This is not a practice life!”, we don’t get a redo, or “scene 2”. This is it! Live it like you mean it, like it counts, like you just thought you had terminal cancer and will die in 60 days. If you don’t love your life or are like, “it’s there, you know, not bad, etc”. If that’s what you say, get uncomfortable, take a class, go on a date with a dicey person, say something or do something bold. Don’t let your life fade to “average”. You weren’t meant for average, don’t even try it’s so unbecoming! So go out there live like you mean it, I DOUBLE DARE YOU!

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“To Have Lived, Loved and Lost….”

    1. I was reading in a business weekly magazine about a man in Indiana who had risen to super rich status through the acquisition of multiple businesses in many industries. The story was about his stratospheric and rapid rise to the upper echelons of society where he supported many local politicians with substantial contributions.
       This man was also into partying, he would fly in 20-30  Playboy bunnies or other models to his estate and party hardy! He had over 30 luxury classic cars, a yacht etc. Finally it was all a ponzi/pyramid type of scheme and he got caught and is now living at his sisters’ house and is awaiting trial. They ask him at the end would you make the same choices again, and he answered, “definitely, not”.
      So he got caught doing illegal things and is now deep trouble. Let’s ignore for the sake of my argument the fact what he did was illegal as most of us would agree that’s wrong. What we do weakly is when we “say good for him” BECAUSE we are jealous of what he lived! He made a bad choice obviously but at least he dreamed and lived big, not playing small.
      What fascinates me is the angle that he lived for at least 5 years the life of opulence many (openly or secretly) dream of living but never will. Here is the question I posit to you:
      “Is it better to have lived like a king for a few years and then like a pauper, or is it better to just have an average and regular life but never have the crazy highs and lows this gentleman experienced?”
      I keep flipping back and forth but mostly end up on the side of really living full out (without crime of course!) as I have done with my (100% admittedly) unstable life path. Remember, I moved to California on a wing and a prayer just over 2 years ago!
      It harkens back to the classic adage, “Tis better to have loved and lost / Than never to have loved at all” by Alfred Lord Tenyson. Many people just decide it’s too much pain to love and risk our heart again and decide to either settle with a partner they don’t really love or never risk again.
       Life is about the connections we make and the growth we experience on whatever path we chose. Remember, “not choosing” is a choice and usually a poor one as it does not reward with any pleasure, or pain or experience. By not choosing, we refuse to go towards what our Most Brilliant Life calls us to  become. This “not going/risking” feels safe and protective but it is a lie and any time we don’t go to what we are called to become we die inside and shrivel up like a raisin (no offence to my good friend the raisin!).
       I may be in the minority, but I say live that life, take those chances, fall on your face, love, cry, laugh because that is what it is to be alive. It’s who you become when you keep getting back up and living a full life.
      THIS IS NOT A PRACTICE LIFE! LIVE IT LIKE YOU MEAN IT!
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Celebrating 6 Months of the “Quantum Leap Living” Newsletter

I’m proud of the fact this December 2nd newsletter marks the beginning of the 7thmonth of bringing you Canada’s only weekly Law of Attraction newsletter. For those of you who have enjoyed it from the very beginning, thank you for your support and I hope you get as much out of it as I put in.

I won’t lie to you, there were many weeks where Thursday’s would roll around and I had no idea what to write! This is the truth. Like all things, sometimes you just gut it out. What helped me was knowing I was touching people on the other end. Your feedback and questions have been particularly supportive and inspiring as we often go through similar life trials and tribulations! I will endeavour to make the next 6 months even better as we roll out the Law of Attraction Meetup Group (http://www.meetup.com/The-GTA-Law-of-Attraction-Group/), seminars, books, Masks-Off! and all manner of other things we haven’t yet even created for you!

Three Ways to Manifest and Attract Abundance

I’m often asked, “What’s the best way for me to start attracting abundance into my life?”

This is a great question and here’s my answer.

There are 3 Ways to Manifest powerfully and quickly. Here they are, in no particular order or level of effectiveness.

1. Begin visualizing/imagining specifically/exactly what you want and (MORE IMPORTANTLY) what it will feel like when you have it. You must feel it as if it already happened (not I hope!). Example: “I see/feel myself driving a 2012 Metallic Blue BMW M3 Coupe.” Don’t ever spend any time (zero time) focusing on HOW it will happen as that will destroy your feeling and all attraction!

2. Begin visualizing/imagining a general idea of what you want and (MORE IMPORTANTLY) what it will feel like when you have it. You must feel it as if it already happened (not I hope!). Example: “I see/feel myself driving a Blue luxury sports coupe.” Don’t ever spend any time (zero time) focusing on HOW it will happen as that will destroy your feeling and all attraction!

3. Be Happy! I know this one seems too easy! It’s not. When you feel good all the time, you beam out Joy/Appreciation/Empowerment/Love and those are all #1 on the emotional scale. They supercharge your attraction! Your ONE AND ONLY objective in life is to be happy! NOT only when things are going your way. Most people wait until the “right” conditions (always out of our hands mostly) appear to be happy. Choose happiness first then more comes. It just works!

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Popular Animal Related Sayings and the Law of Attraction

I thought this week it would be fun to analyze some popular sayings related to animals through the lens of the law of Attraction. Some of these were real brain twisters hope you enjoy them. If you would like to challenge or add to my points drop me an email!

So here goes!
1. There are plenty more fish in the sea.

The Law of Attraction would agree and add that with the right emotional level you can hang out and attract with only those you are similar to as your vibrations match. For example, if you have recently been dumped, it was probably because there is someone even better waiting and you had a lesson to learn.

2. Don’t count your chickens until they have hatched.

Here the Law of Attraction (LoA)  would disagree If you really believe many will hatch then they will, if you don’t believe many will then they won’t. This is a fear-based and “scarcity” perspective (the world is abundant!)

3. A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.

Here the LoA would disagree. Visualizing what you want (but don’t have yet) will attract it. Feeling like you already have it ensures it is on its way and feels better to boot. On the other hand if you are only looking at what you have you won’t attract much more.

4. Let sleeping dogs lie.

Here the LoA would agree. What you focus on grows, every time you bring up negatives more will come and your vibration drops. Many times ignoring or NOT focusing on something you have deemed “negative” will remove it or at least diminish its impact on you.
5. Early bird gets the worm.

Here the LoA would disagree. This dictum argues early and massive action will beat out competition.  The LoA maintains there is abundance everywhere, and your having it does not remove it for someone else. The LoA is firm in its stipulation that 99% of action that is out of alignment (not from real feeling good emotion) will fail. So aligned action will get the worms no matter the time and many of them as the action comes from a great feeling place.
6. Kill 2 birds with one stone.

Here the LoA would agree and raise you a few more birds! We’ve all been in that state of “flow” when everything seems to be going well. We get the promotion, feel healthy and get the perfect partner all seemingly “out of the blue”. Usually we were feeling great just before and had visualized all we wanted. It appears “out of the blue” to those who don’t know how the LoA works.
7. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.

The LoA agrees. Forcing yourself or anyone else to do something they don’t want to will never provide a meaningful long term positive outcome.  All action should be aligned action from an emotion of optimism or higher on the emotional scale (numbers 6 to 1).

Remember: The definition of suffering = worrying about things/people out of our control.

8. Take the bull by the horns.

I don’t know about this one! On the one hand, moving towards what you want is taking charge. On the other, too much action out of alignment will get you tossed into the crowd or gored to death. Like a bullfighter dances with the bull, LoA says to be easy fluid and allow.

This was fun! I’d love your feedback and/or comments.

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