Nurse Reveals the Top 5 Regrets People Make On Their Deathbed

By Bronnie Ware (who worked for years nursing the dying)

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.  It is very important to try and honor at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard. 
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence. By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others.As a result, they settled for amediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.
We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level.Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.  That’s what I’ve been saying!

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends. 
Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Wow, that’s powerful, maybe you should cut it out or copy it, go to the website. I really felt a few twinges when I read that.

Self-Coaching Exercise:   After reading this unbelievable information, you need to make a commitment to focus on what matters. Use this as a measuring stick for every decision. Will I regret not trying/doing this? If yes, DO IT!

Source: [1] [i]http://www.inspirationandchai.com/Regrets-of-the-Dying.html

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The Cottage

Having had the pleasure of visiting my close friend Chris (thank you so much CP) up at a wonderful lakeside cottage up in Haliburton I thought I’d write my thoughts since return.

  1. I need a cottage! It reconnects me with nature and puts my crazy “do,do,do” lifestyle in perspective.
  2. My dog loves a lake to chase sticks and balls in!
  3. We don’t eat so well when there are chips, pop and beer around all the time!
  4. The stress of the big city is palpable upon arrival beginning with traffic
  5. People in the country are so laid back, it’s nice
  6. Swimming in a lake is still an amazing experience after many years absence
  7. Cool nights by a campfire rule
  8. A nice nap in a cool cottage afternoon is a blissful experience with little to do or complete
  9. Playing cards with friends connects deeply
  10. We worry much too much about things we have little to no control over
  11.  Coming back from a short 3 day vacation, it’s hard to restart the momentum we had, the mental, spiritual and physical adjustments can take a few days
  12. I’ve already made plans to go to another cottage in 2 weeks, darn, I think I have cottage fever                ********************************************************************************************************

Transition Season

There you have it folks, the summer (beautiful in Toronto!) of 2011 is almost done! You can feel it in the crisp evenings, in the way people are dressing nicely for work, and conversations transition to more fall like subjects such as hiking, wool sweaters, school and back to “serious” work.  I hope the summer was good to you, as it was for me. Fall is actually my favorite season, with the leaves changing colors, Halloween, watching movies, riding the Dakar in the fall as long as I can til the slippery white stuff flies (shhh!, maybe it will forget Jthis year)!

I’m, actually happy to return to teaching at the college. I feel disconnected from the world in summers as I have too much time off (I know it’s tough!), probably more like no structure and place I need to be for 10 weeks! I really love teaching, I get to share some of my insights with (mostly sometimes) hungry young minds who still dream like it’s still totally REALLY possible. They think big and crazy (like I do!). Can you say the same? Do you still dream FULL ON, no holds barred? Or have you settled into a “comfortable” not too challenging rhythm. As comfortable as it may be, we need change and growth and new things to really thrive and live like it means something.

Remember, “This is not a practice life!”, we don’t get a redo, or “scene 2”. This is it! Live it like you mean it, like it counts, like you just thought you had terminal cancer and will die in 60 days. If you don’t love your life or are like, “it’s there, you know, not bad, etc”. If that’s what you say, get uncomfortable, take a class, go on a date with a dicey person, say something or do something bold. Don’t let your life fade to “average”. You weren’t meant for average, don’t even try it’s so unbecoming! So go out there live like you mean it, I DOUBLE DARE YOU!

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Sailing the High Seas of Relationship Ships!

Relationships in our lives can be likened to ocean going ships!

I’d like to thank Shawn Chance for the idea! The more I explore it the more I see incredible parallels. I thought I’d share some with you.

Parallel #1:  We start off as kids with very small, unstable ships that grow stronger over our lives as we gain maturity, intelligence, and most importantly experience. We stay in our “safe” harbor (our parent’s homes and financial and emotional safety) close to home until our early twenties in most cases.

Parallel #2:  We are looking to “sail” out of the harbor out into open water to explore this huge world (life) for the experience, joy, passion and adventure of living this incredible life. We live these lives we do in these perfect bodies able to sense, see, hear, feel, taste, smell and all the other feelings.

Parallel #3:  Soon we are making sure our ship (single life) is comfortable, fast, roomy and satisfying to sail. We upgrade it (education) and wash it (cleansing our souls as humans) and put additions (experiences) on and sail out of the harbor and off on adventure.

Parallel #4:  After a while of testing and exploring our ships’ limits and meeting random ships (dating) that share some small parts of our journeys. We then yearn to have a co-captain for our ship to share in the adventure, feel safer and enjoy new activities we did before (intimate committed love).

Parallel #5:  We begin visiting other ships that are also looking to partner for a committed joint journey. When we begin boarding strange ships we see interesting new layouts (personalities) but soon settle on what ship really catches our fancy. When we visit those ships we get to see how the crew (personality) works  and how the ship is built (body), it’s strengths and weaknesses, speed and comfort. After boarding many ships, we often realize after a few visits that the type of journey we are going on is not the type we prefer and/or the ship is not seaworthy (psychological limitations and baggage).

Parallel #6:  Soon as the two crews of our respective ships become one team (committed monogamous relationship) we yearn for a larger ship to be more comfortable. We then merge our ships together and sail the high seas. Enjoying the safety, wisdom and adventure of a large ship we often yearn for a full crew (children).

In going through this lens I’ve come to a few conclusions about my relationship history. I seem to have gone for the super fast and sexy, fun ships and found they were not long term material. From the ship falling apart (depression), to the ship finding another ship it would rather sail with (couple separation/destruction), to my own ship self-destructing.

I have never in the past been really attracted to particularly sturdy ships and it has cost me in terms of not having had a relationship with a true equal. My next joint ship will be solid, solvent,  seaworthy, playful, adventurous, passionate and well organized. Or maybe not and I just love shipwrecks for the fun of it. Oh well!

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Three 18 Hour Driving Days : Totally Worth it!

Earlier this week, I had the pleasure of speaking with a young (early 20’s) person about what they did on their week off. I was pleasantly surprised!

This person decided driving three days straight for 18 hours a day from Toronto to Banff with her boyfriend was an adventure of a lifetime! The fact that they would be in the gorgeous mountains for ONLY 3 DAYS would have stopped most people (including even myself truth be told, I’m working on it!). It didn’t stop them and they had a life-altering experience. Any of you who have been in that area will concur, it is world class, beautiful part of this great Canadian land. People fly from around the world to see Banff, it’s that incredible!

This was a great experience for this lovebird couple, I believe the boyfriend is from Australia or New Zealand. Either way those people know how to have fun and follow adventure! Crocodile Dundee?! Steve Irwin!? Passion and love of and for the adventure, pure and simple! It isn’t always pretty, comfortable or easy but darn doesn’t it completely change you every time you do something totally new. You grow in a new way and are better for it, in all your life areas!

I did tell this person and many around that this is what life is all about. These types of decisions (unpopular, illogical, uncomfortable, dangerous) are the ones that make us who we are.

I hate to sound like a bad “motivational speaker” (can I tell you how much I dislike the idea of “motivating someone”, motivation is from within, I can reframe and honor the client’s values, but they find their own motivations!). But the journey to get to the goal is part of the “JOURNEY” of the experience.

As pretty as those mountains surely were, I’ll bet the weird Chinese food in the dive bar/motel east of Estevan, Saskatchewan (or some other random event/location combo) will be more memorable. Those jokes and stories exchanged, perhaps the love strengthened made for a connection for life.

I know my two copilots on the driving trips to California and back would tell you we have a deep bond that was created on those journeys.

They say you can’t walk a mile in another “man’s” shoes. Trust me walking that mile next to and chatting and connecting is just as good, plus your feet don’t hurt!

This from Kathy at “ask.com” I love the two definitions:

 “During the time that Rome was the power in the known world, a roman soldier could legally require any one to carry his pack for a mile, Jesus suggested you carry it a second mile as a sacrifice, gift or to have a greater understanding if the others lot.

First Migratory Americans have been credited with the origin of the phrase suggesting you can’t really understand someone else unless you live their life, walk in their shoes so to speak!”

What unpopular, uncomfortable, illogical decision or journey awaits you? Take it and do it! Trust me the world will be a better place upon your return! I just booked two weeks to Argentina at Christmas to meet a mysterious, sexy woman, how’s that for living dangerously! I dare you, actually, I double dare you, do something crazy! Your life will thank you, I love and openly accept postcards!

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Celebrating 6 Months of the “Quantum Leap Living” Newsletter

I’m proud of the fact this December 2nd newsletter marks the beginning of the 7thmonth of bringing you Canada’s only weekly Law of Attraction newsletter. For those of you who have enjoyed it from the very beginning, thank you for your support and I hope you get as much out of it as I put in.

I won’t lie to you, there were many weeks where Thursday’s would roll around and I had no idea what to write! This is the truth. Like all things, sometimes you just gut it out. What helped me was knowing I was touching people on the other end. Your feedback and questions have been particularly supportive and inspiring as we often go through similar life trials and tribulations! I will endeavour to make the next 6 months even better as we roll out the Law of Attraction Meetup Group (http://www.meetup.com/The-GTA-Law-of-Attraction-Group/), seminars, books, Masks-Off! and all manner of other things we haven’t yet even created for you!

Three Ways to Manifest and Attract Abundance

I’m often asked, “What’s the best way for me to start attracting abundance into my life?”

This is a great question and here’s my answer.

There are 3 Ways to Manifest powerfully and quickly. Here they are, in no particular order or level of effectiveness.

1. Begin visualizing/imagining specifically/exactly what you want and (MORE IMPORTANTLY) what it will feel like when you have it. You must feel it as if it already happened (not I hope!). Example: “I see/feel myself driving a 2012 Metallic Blue BMW M3 Coupe.” Don’t ever spend any time (zero time) focusing on HOW it will happen as that will destroy your feeling and all attraction!

2. Begin visualizing/imagining a general idea of what you want and (MORE IMPORTANTLY) what it will feel like when you have it. You must feel it as if it already happened (not I hope!). Example: “I see/feel myself driving a Blue luxury sports coupe.” Don’t ever spend any time (zero time) focusing on HOW it will happen as that will destroy your feeling and all attraction!

3. Be Happy! I know this one seems too easy! It’s not. When you feel good all the time, you beam out Joy/Appreciation/Empowerment/Love and those are all #1 on the emotional scale. They supercharge your attraction! Your ONE AND ONLY objective in life is to be happy! NOT only when things are going your way. Most people wait until the “right” conditions (always out of our hands mostly) appear to be happy. Choose happiness first then more comes. It just works!

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May the “Real” Meaning of Christmas Come Forth!

My definition (and hopefully yours!) of Christmas is unlike the media machine version of Cramer’s Mad Money, “BUY!, BUY!, BUY!” consumerism. Here are some of my thoughts on what Christmas means.

1. Connection/Reconnection to Important People to Us:  Family is a big part of that but let’s not forget friends, teachers, doctors and neighbors!

Most importantly though, is don’t forget yourself! You can’t be of any good for others until you take care of yourself, first.

2. Children:  Christmas is the greatest time (but shouldn’t be the only time) to revel in kids’ joy and delight at the spectacle. The colors, smells, tastes, sounds of Christmas are so delectable! I challenge you to “out-revel” and “out-joy” the kids around you, that would be a present to you and everyone around you, I know I will! Remember: “Try is a Lie!” and as Yoda says, “There is do and there is not do, there is no try”. Living full out is a gift you can give yourself every day!

3.. A time for personal and group celebration: To have fun and enjoy the company and presents. Don’t let your body and diet go out the window. Sneak in a salad daily, drink your green drink to stay alkaline and get enough rest. Then you will be the one who got the most out of this jolly but unhealthy period. More energy and vibrancy equals more good moments and being present.

4. Reflection: With less work and more free time, you should ideally take time to reflect on your “personal wins” for this past year (forget disappointments!). A “win” is any time you move the needle towards being your true self, helping others grow, pushing yourself further and digging deeper. Sometimes it means surviving a really difficult time with your dignity and purpose intact. Some years it means not slipping down into the abyss. If you feel like it create some general goals for 2012, don’t put dates on them other than “in 2012”.

5. Toss the New Year’s Resolutions:  They don’t work so avoid them. If it’s important to do in your life, you already know about it, there are 364 other days you can make the change to improve your quality of life (more connected decisions to your life purpose, saying “no” a lot more and not feeling guilty, refocusing on every moment and joy). Any goals you DO set must totally capture your heart, passion and imagination! If not, you are only checking off boxes and won’t succeed. Make 2012 the year you were true to yourself and your values, even if it was unpopular and difficult, that’s character. I challenge you to under (rather than OVER) schedule yourself in 2012, trust me obligations will never leave or decrease, you control time and can say “NO!”.

Enjoy the merriment and I’ll see you on the flip side.

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What Catapults You Immediately into Your Most Brilliant Self?

        The particularly (unusually) mild winter of 2012 allowed me 2 days riding on my Dakar motorcycle. Oh the pure unadultered joy of riding a motorcycle (forget the cold for just a second, brrr!) was ecstatic for those 2 days. I just thought I’d share that because there are always activities that automatically catapult me into joy, flow and honestly give me my mojo back when it drifts away!

       Some of mine include running trails with my dog in the park, losing myself in Skyrim video game, my remote control monster trucks, writing, speaking, coaching, running men’s groups, a warm tender romantic evening with a partner you love, etc. As you can see I have many things that immediately shift my state to one of utter love, joy, empowerment, passion, appreciation and faith that all is well. When I feel that way, really amazing, innovative and intuitive ideas bubble up and are ready for exploration. What do you have or do that immediately launch  you to that space.

If you don’t have many, that’s your homework. Here’s a quick test: if you wouldn’t do the activity if I gave you 3 perfect health months to live, then it’s not a true passion! Forget costs, practicalities and self-created “thinking small” limitations, do what makes your heart sing. If you don’t know what does that, I challenge you to try one new activity per week for 8 weeks and then come and talk to me about living life as if every moment is your last. Before that, we both have some homework as I need as many of those activities too and practice what I preach by trying a multitude of new things and loving it!

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Your Job is to Ask!

       As this ridiculously mild March weather has made my apartment rather warm with the patio quarantined and barricaded for repairs. I set off to purchase a trusty floor mode fan at my local giant megabox home improvement center. As I visited one place, apparently their winter clearout was in full swing with no fans. Off to the second store where only one remained in a battered and re-taped box. Normally I would just fork over the $18 and head home. Not today though as my inner deal hound smelled a discount opportunity.

       My first reaction was, “You don’t want to be one of those people!”. You know, the never satisfied always looking for a deal, pain the you know what. Then the wise me chimed in and said, “No, the box is battered and bruised, let’s try to save a few bucks, this might be fun!” As I approached the customer service desk, I read the button on the lady behind the counter, “WE ARE EMPOWERED!”, so I asked for a discount.

As she grabbed the phone to call another associate, I asked her, “Hey aren’t you empowered?”  She smiled and said, “Apparently not enough!” After about 5 minutes and another associate I got a $4 discount on the $18 fan, an over 20% discount that I would have never gotten if I didn’t ask. I felt triumphant as I left realizing that in this life you get what you ask for not a penny more.

I challenge you this week to ask for more of your life, who knows it might be worth a lot more than $4!

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