High Potential Underachievers VS Achievers

Via my incredible membership with my private success club I came across some incredible information this week I couldn’t wait to share with you. If you want more info. On joining the club, drop me an email.

After 6 years of studying the most successful people on the planet, here is some incredible information, I dare you to look at yourself and see your truth.

The study looked at High Potential Underachievers vs Achievers. Here’s the skinny….

Print it and put it on your Vision Board (you have one right?!)

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High Potential Under-Achievers (What NOT to do)

5 Characteristics:

Procrastinate:  Spend their type paralyzed and analyzing. THEY DON’T ACT. 

Wide Swings of Mood and Self-esteem: Unfocussed

Difficulty in making decisions: Or undo/doubt when they take decisions

Fear of Disappointment: Of themselves and others. Put others’ opinions above their dreams, hide from life.

Dream Big and Never Follow Through:  Can’t pull the trigger.

Underachievers Quit, Achievers Complete.

Now here is what you want, remember 6 studies/research of Performance and Behavior:

Achievers Profile

“An Indestructible Personality”:  Refuse to give up. Will not be denied or stopped no matter what.

More “At Bats”:  Talk to more people, make more calls. “Eat problems for breakfast” . “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” – Wayne Gretzky 

Unshakeable Belief in your dream: Sturdy resilience and unrelenting courage. Chart their success.

Attitude Support:  Keep a positive mindset. Whenever you are above 85% of your thoughts being positive you have a CHANCE at success. Not before.

Mega-Achievers:  Are not Lone Wolves, they are relational.  You need to give to receive. Give from the heart.

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Question: “Why are/can relationships be so hard!?” Janice C.

 

Answer:  Firstly, thanks for the question Janice. The Universe can never buck your trend or vibration, so if you think they are hard, then the Universe will match that and give you “hard” relationships.

They are hard when we are unclear who we are, what we want and have limited courage and/or low standards for what we deserve. If we come from fear/insecurity (lack) we will attract that.

They can be hard when we are inauthentic (trying to be what we are not) and trying to please or impress another with our actions. The most important relationship is with ourselves and many people don’t have a good one there. Self criticism and low self esteem should be your number one enemies and they can be dealt with by beginning to monitor and notice your thoughts and language. Just saying, “Relationships are hard.”  Is a very scarcity-based perspective. Your subconscious says, “If they are hard, why would we even want one? We don’t” 

Without really liking yourself you go out meeting people that subconsciously feel like they “complete” you. If you don’t really like yourself and feel incomplete without a partner you attract another “incomplete” partner. Two “incompletes” don’t make a “complete”, they make both more incomplete as both partners are trying to “get” something they need internally (self love) from outside themselves. All this does is augment a chain of pain.

A person with strong personal preferences, clear standards of conduct, a strong sense of self that is being authentic manifests relationships easily and naturally as they are abundant. Relationships can be anything YOU create and want them to be, exciting, fun, etc.

This mindset lets us realize that we can never stand on our head in enough ways to ever please another person. Even if we do, we will lose their respect or attract abuse (victim-victimizer complex).
When we are clear about who we are and what we want, we naturally know what we need and gravitate to relationships and people we can get our needs met with. When this happens with both partners asking and getting their needs met, it is incredible how joyful, natural and passionate relationships become.

So look inside first, fill that up then watch your external (with another) relationships flourish. Otherwise it’s like trying to fill a bucket with a hole in it, no one can ever give you enough love to replace the love you don’t have for yourself.

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Appreciation: A Rampage of

The last few weeks have been quite wondrous for me and I am in appreciation of all that I am experiencing. I thought I’d share a few examples as appreciation is #1 on the Emotional Scale!

Peter Gabriel Music Concert:  Phenomenal sounds and visuals created an incredible soundscape of classics. This man is a musical genius.

Cirque Du Soleil Amaluna:  This was my first Cirque experience and I absolutely adored it. The ability of the performers is Olympic quality, the soundtrack uplifting and the coordination and flawless performance are a joy to behold. Worth every generous penny, sometimes premium is worth it.

Hy’s Steakhouse: My lovely partner took me to this steak house for my birthday last week, (September 24th). The food is devine, the décor classic upscale and the service is simply palatial. Being treated to a 5 star meal service is quite impressive. http://www.hyssteakhouse.com/

A Beautiful Wedding:  I was a groomsman at my best friend Chris Partridge married his love, Shannon McGregor at the Knollwood in Ancaster, Ontario. I’ve been to my fair share of weddings, this one was almost a spiritual event. The love of the family, friends and couple electrified the wedding. Beautiful and simple wedding ceremony and evening that focused on connections and love, wonderful memories and touching moments. From the M and M candies with their faces and dates, to walking Shannon’s dog down the aisle. Pictures taken by a photographer that cared, etc. Etc.

This is what you call a rampage of appreciation and it feels and sounds so good. I wish you to go on your own!

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A Life of Courageous Authenticity!

We all want it, the media parades it to us but so many find it very difficult to achieve: What is it?

A Life  of Courageous Authenticity

We all wear masks of inauthenticity, identifying ourselves with other people. We don’t even know who we are, what we are doing and why we are doing it. We don’t know what we don’t know. From our childhood we’ve developed values and behaviours to feel accepted by others and to fit in. Our egos want to protect us from feelings of isolation.  These fearful masks disguise our true greatness, uniqueness and connection to our own humanity. Our Most Brilliant Selves are stifled beneath the façade.

 


 

Once we become courageously authentic, our whole life is unveiled by our ongoing transformation.

This book will launch you forward and guide you to embrace your ultimate truth:

 

  • Learn to create powerful new thoughts and behavior patterns while overwriting false self-limiting beliefs.
  • Enhance your vibration by adopting an abundance perspective
  • Learn to live your unique truth and love yourself deeply
  • Enjoy real life stories of authenticity and quotes to inspire you
  • Self-mentor with exercises that help clarify your values, create your life purpose and build your life’s vision

 

Once you understand, accept and then love your courageous authentic self, you will rise above your fears, and a new passionate and permanent quality of life is yours. This is is not a Practice Life!

 

Live It! Your Courageosuly Authentic Life” My latest book, allowing you to discover, harness and develop your unique superpower: your unique courageous authenticity! NOW AVAILABLE !

 

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A Comparison of Successful People and Unsuccessful People

As fall begins it’s time to refocus and be better at everything! A great friend and business partner sent me this and I completely concur, thanks Rabia! I’m unsure of the source. print it off so you can see it, mine is going on my vision wall! i’ve added the Emotional Scale emotions for clarity (remember any emotion above #8 feels good and attracts abundance, and below #8 feels bad attracts scarcity .

Successful People                                                                            Unsuccessful People
Have a sense of gratitude (appreciation, #1 on the ES)        Have a sense of entitlement
Forgive others                                                                                        Hold a grudge
Give others credit for their victories                                             Take all the credit for their victories
Accept responsibility for their failures                                         Blame (#15 on the ES) others for their failures
Compliment (appreciation, #1 ont he ES)                                    Criticize (#20 Jealousy on the ES)
Read (Empowerment, #1 on the ES) everyday                          Watch TV (scarcity perspective) everyday
Keep a journal                                                                                          Say they keep a journal but really don’t
Talk about ideas                                                                                      Talk about people
Want others to succeed (Hopefulness, #6 on the ES)             Secretly hope others fail
Share information and data                                                               Horde information and data
Keep a “to-be” list                                                                                  Don’t know what they want to be
Exude joy (Joy, #1 on the ES)                                                           Exude anger (Anger is #17 on the ES)
Keep a “to-do” project list  (Eagerness/Enthusiasm #3)       Fly by the seat of their pants
Set goals and develop life plans                                                        Never set goals (to avoid failing)
Continuously learn (always open)                                                  Think they know it all (always closed)
Embrace Change                                                                                     Fear change
Transformational perspective (“what can i contribute?”)     Transactional perspective (“what can i get?”)

Which are you mostly?

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How to Get Market/Date Ready

Reader Question

This week, I thought I’d share a question I answered for one of our readers.

QUESTION: “I’m still upset/heartbroken over my past relationship(s). How (and when?) do I get “market-ready” to date?” JC

Frank: The simple answer JC, you’re ready when you are ready! What’s the rush anyway? That being said, everyone is different. You are ready when the idea of going out with someone new is very appealing. Too many people the fear being alone and then start dating coming from a lacking place. Anything coming from fear/lack is not a good perspective and will attract other fearful/lacking people.

When you’ve done some inner work towards getting to know and love yourself you will be ready. Many people don’t love (or even like) themselves and look to a relationship to fill up what they are missing. Two low self-esteem people do not a good couple make! Inadequate + inadequate = More inadequate! And they trigger each other’s unresolved “baggage” together making a mess.

When you become single after a relationship (never mind a heartbreaker!) you need time to get to know what the new (and improved), latest version of you likes and wants. Many people right out of a relationship feel rejected, dejected, unworthy (unworthiness is #21 on the ES). They feel less than complete and feel lost. A good way to soften is to look for all the gifts the relationship gave you, who YOU became because of it. You are VERY aware of what didn’t work, flip that around to what you do want. So, if you felt your last partner was “controlling”, you could say, “I’m looking for someone who values freedom (#1 on the ES) as I do.”

A certain amount of grieving must occur to process the emotions. Be gentle and enjoy exploring your “new” very different life. Reconnect to old and make new friends and hobbies/passions. Don’t look immediately for a partner as then the dreaded “rebound” relationships occur. Do the right thing and take some time to be curious about all that is possible. Most people look at what they lost instead of what they gained from their separation. When coming from lack you attract others in lack.

Good luck and please let us know how it goes!  

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Move on Or Stay?

Question:  My partner and I don’t seem to connect anymore. What should/can I can do, or is it just time to move on/leave?

Frank’s Answer:  It’s too easy to only blame the other person. A better way to approach this is to look at if you are happy with who you are being in the relationship? If yes, then you need to get clear if both your paths are still aligned. I find values a strong predictor of relationship success. Not carbon copy values, but enough commonalities so you feel you share similar views on life’s major areas. At least have respect for each other.

If respect is gone and resentment has settled in and you no longer have more good times than bad, then re-evaluate if this fits YOUR minimum relationship expectations (what you would minimally want in a new partner). If not, being single (a little lonely at first but also excitement of potential new mate) is always better than in a bad relationship (feeling alone with a partner).

Communication is key here, you want to explore the topic in a courageously authentic fashion so you are transparent and are not holding any important facts or feelings back from your partner. Once you take responsibility for your inputs of the relationship and communicate clearly, then the right decision will become clearer. Until honest dialogue happens both partners may be operating from false/mistaken assumptions about the other. Clarity brings conscious choice.

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Travel Trials and Humor

Last weekend I had the immense luck and privilege to be invited by my cousin (hey cuz! Thx man!) down to Chicago to partake of a Nascar race. We had the (perhaps once in a lifetime or at least long time) best seats in the house. From learning the intricacies of the hauling race trailers, to meeting drivers and their crew to being trackside for phenomenal 14 second pitting procedures that are incredibly impressive, to travelling around the banked track at over 180km/hr (115 mph) we had total “backstage” pass inside access. The teams really operate as huge families and all work so hard just to get that driver and car to the starting grid. Like an iceberg where you only see 10% of the size, that day showed us every little detail that goes into preparing (for safety) and running a vehicle hurtling around over 300km/hr (186 mph).

Travelling really requires you to stay open to experiences and adventures as things do invariably go wrong either by your own or destiny’s fault. I began my journey the night before when I drove down to Buffalo to save a few hundred dollars on the flight. At the border, the Spanish Inquisition was re-enacted for my experiencing pleasure as I was grilled mercilessly by a machine gun questioning guard with bugged out crazy eyes. He finally returned my passport allowing me to experience the less savory neighborhoods of Buffalo while seemingly taking the LEAST direct route to my destination.

I arrived in “Shytown” the next morning early and connected with my cousin. Upon arrival to the windy city it became abundantly clear, a good sense of humor and adventure would be required! We realized immediately that the huge towers of the downtown core rendered the GPS almost irrelevant after we went around in circles in rush hour traffic for about 20 minutes as the GPS basically kept recalculating and admonishing us for “wrong” turns it had just suggested seconds earlier. We arrived at the hotel, unpacked and began realizing that leaving the hotel would carry its own price at every turn.

Leaving the hotel became an annoyance in two ways, a) the costs and b) the availability of anything and everything considered “normal” (like 24 hour pharmacies or coffee shops open when you want a coffee, etc.). Leaving the hotel with the car would incur $20-$30 parking charges anywhere we went so we decided to take cabs. Low and behold most cab rides were also in the same $20-$30 range. As if to mock us the city seemed to mock us at every turn when a reasonable request was made (“Why would you want lip balm at 11AM on a Sunday?”)!

The coffee place was closed almost the whole weekend, restaurants we almost all closed or so distant they weren’t worth cabbing or driving to! By Saturday night our craving for Mexican became a akin to “Quest for Fire”! The front desk confirmed that the restaurants were “a $30 cab ride return”, this constant “walletitis” was beginning to annoy and sting regularly. We decided to order Indian food online and the food came almost 2 hours later when eating the order out menus was becoming an option!

Many people we met complained about the economy and all the bankrupcies. By Sunday my cousin and I snidely remarked, “Maybe if your stores and restaurants were open, you could do better!”The aquarium was phenomenal as was the Nascar race I must say. On Sunday morning we had an hour to kill before my flight so we went to a mall. At 10 AM the place was barely open! Even by 11 AM, opening time, many stores were just barely opening!

This was not a rant against this city or trip far from it, but only fuel for my premise that my cousin and I armed with very good senses of “whatever happens happens and it is part of the journey” ended up enjoying a situation that could have really thrown many others off. If you go travelling with the “mind of a student adventurer” you will enjoy the inevitable minor and Major “S curves” (also called by some not us, “things going horribly wrong”) on the journey as integral parts of the journey. You will not be thrown off when a new situation challenges your expectations and existing habitual patterns.

Travelling is definitely a growth experience and allows one to experience new places, people and ways of living. Don’t forget to leave your expectations and habits at home, you’ll have a much better time!

I challenge you this next week to live with the mind of a student explorer, you may never go back to your “old” habits and ways! Even if you do, you may appreciate how good you have it at home and enjoy it more!

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Sailing the High Seas of Relationship Ships!

Relationships in our lives can be likened to ocean going ships!

I’d like to thank Shawn Chance for the idea! The more I explore it the more I see incredible parallels. I thought I’d share some with you.

Parallel #1:  We start off as kids with very small, unstable ships that grow stronger over our lives as we gain maturity, intelligence, and most importantly experience. We stay in our “safe” harbor (our parent’s homes and financial and emotional safety) close to home until our early twenties in most cases.

Parallel #2:  We are looking to “sail” out of the harbor out into open water to explore this huge world (life) for the experience, joy, passion and adventure of living this incredible life. We live these lives we do in these perfect bodies able to sense, see, hear, feel, taste, smell and all the other feelings.

Parallel #3:  Soon we are making sure our ship (single life) is comfortable, fast, roomy and satisfying to sail. We upgrade it (education) and wash it (cleansing our souls as humans) and put additions (experiences) on and sail out of the harbor and off on adventure.

Parallel #4:  After a while of testing and exploring our ships’ limits and meeting random ships (dating) that share some small parts of our journeys. We then yearn to have a co-captain for our ship to share in the adventure, feel safer and enjoy new activities we did before (intimate committed love).

Parallel #5:  We begin visiting other ships that are also looking to partner for a committed joint journey. When we begin boarding strange ships we see interesting new layouts (personalities) but soon settle on what ship really catches our fancy. When we visit those ships we get to see how the crew (personality) works  and how the ship is built (body), it’s strengths and weaknesses, speed and comfort. After boarding many ships, we often realize after a few visits that the type of journey we are going on is not the type we prefer and/or the ship is not seaworthy (psychological limitations and baggage).

Parallel #6:  Soon as the two crews of our respective ships become one team (committed monogamous relationship) we yearn for a larger ship to be more comfortable. We then merge our ships together and sail the high seas. Enjoying the safety, wisdom and adventure of a large ship we often yearn for a full crew (children).

In going through this lens I’ve come to a few conclusions about my relationship history. I seem to have gone for the super fast and sexy, fun ships and found they were not long term material. From the ship falling apart (depression), to the ship finding another ship it would rather sail with (couple separation/destruction), to my own ship self-destructing.

I have never in the past been really attracted to particularly sturdy ships and it has cost me in terms of not having had a relationship with a true equal. My next joint ship will be solid, solvent,  seaworthy, playful, adventurous, passionate and well organized. Or maybe not and I just love shipwrecks for the fun of it. Oh well!

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