Social Media = Relationships “Light”

In this day and age most people can’t go 2 hours without the smartphone or any of the forms of social media (I won’t mention their names as their lawyer budget beats mine!) as their electronic soother!

I thought for my piece this week I would look at some of the challenges of communications that we are experiencing society today.

Let’s look at the book of faces for a moment. What is it?

When’s last time your car broke down the side of the road and you were able to connect with somebody on the book of faces to help you? Not often right?

This is not to say that social media doesn’t have any uses especially for those geographically separated by great distances.

However in my humble opinion these tools are used as a tool to manage risk of exposure to relationships. We control how much of a person we connect with and when. These have very little to do with the real face-to-face interaction of a traditional functional relationship.

We are becoming a society of people who don’t know how to relate to each other with problems spanning all life areas. We are seeing an unwillingness (and worse) an inability of young folks to have full relationships that include the inconveniences of being present.

We live in a time when social media has given us promise of being more and more connected with everyone. What I’ve noticed is more people that are more lonely and isolated. people who are so “busy” doing very little of true importance in their life. A life of significance is a life where we push ourselves and do what’s important and often it’s not at the end of an electronic tether. I met someone last week who had closed his book of faces for a week and he mentioned how liberated and free and productive he was. Over the last 2 months i have been involved in a business requiring face to face and phone meetings, the quality and experiences have been incredible.

So how to do we be constructive about this ?

Limit your time using the social media. You control the time when you want to interact with it and HOW. Turn off the aspects of it that send you emails every time somebody makes a comment. many these conversations are really self focused, selfish, trivial and all about glorifying a life that often is less than average.

A life of significance requires real presence and humanity.

I dare you to take a 1 week hiatus from social media, who knows you may never come back! See you in the flesh!

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Secular Shift

As the end of the year approaches, many people have asked me if I think the apocalypse is coming in a little over one month. Let me be clear here, I don’t have a crystal ball, and I’m not even 100% sure how to spell Nostradamus. Additionally, the Mayan calendar is Greek to me. That said, I do have some ideas.
Firstly, the “end-of-the world” thinking comes from extreme paranoia which is amplified and concentrated fear (#22 on the emotional scale). This is not a perspective we should spend much time in if we want to live happily and attract great thoughts, people and events.

Secondly, remember that focusing our energies and thoughts on things we don’t control is the definition of suffering. Additionally it is an excuse to stop focusing what we DO control, our thoughts and actions. No one else’s.

Most spiritual people I’ve discussed this with agree that what is actually happening (and it’s a very GOOD thing unlike what the media peddles) is that there is a secular shift in our thinking and living. Many of the existing institutions that so many have lived their lives by are simply not working for them anymore. A consumption-focused, media-driven and capitalistic lifestyle tends to be ego driven, unsustainable and supports false (base) values. There is a very large transition towards thinking in terms of sustainable environments, growth and ways of living. A consciousness shift is happening and accelerating, and it’s great.

Lastly, if it will be the end of the world, let’s make this last month count and live it as if it’s not a practice life (the theme of my new book, “Live It!”). I watched the movie “Seeking a Friend for the End of the World” which shows what happens when most rules and accountability are removed (in this case due to the impending asteroid about to destroy earth).  The movie shows both extremes (it is Hollywood after all!).
Forget the end of the world, it’s just another excuse to NOT focus on what you really want , desire and manifest for yourself.

Take That Shot!

In searching for a topic worthy of the newsletter this week, I borrowed from my newest book all about not only accepting but embracing your truest self, warts and all. It is called “Take It! Living and Loving a Courageously Authentic Life.” Which will be available nationwide in September.

Wayne Gretzky (hockey Hall of Famer widely considered one of the best hockey players to ever live) said, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. It seems so obvious in sports but is also extremely applicable to our lives. What are the devastating and life-limiting side-effects of NOT TAKING (ANY?) SHOTS?

THE COSTS OF NOT TAKING A SHOT

  1. You miss all the opportunities (because you chose not to take a shot)
  2. You miss the learning and growth of trying, failing and persevering to take shots.
  3. Your ego gets to smugly hide behind a carefully crafted lie, “If we did try we would succeed!”
  4. The world doesn’t get the benefit of your “shot”, whatever the impact that would be it is certainly more than not doing anything.
  5. You don’t inspire anyone else to take shots around you. Those who regularly go for it inspire others by their actions (the main concept in Take-It!).

“Be the change you want to in the world.”  Ghandi

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Cutting the Cord & Less IS More

     Last weekend was a new experience for me as I rode my motorcycle on roads that tore the Northern Alleghany Forest in Pennsylvania mountains to ribbons in the company of my equally motorcycle-crazy cousin. Little to no traffic (the area is 3 hours from any major cities and has little to offer the cottaging crowd) made this a mecca for motorized 2-wheel exploration. The people we met were all exceedingly friendly and helpful, very nice. The 3 days communing with nature on my trusted mechanical steed opened a whole new world for me that I want to explore more, MUCH more(Passion, #2 on the Emotional Scale).
I turned my mobile phone off Friday and opened it late Sunday, and my world didn’t crumble! LOL! Being away from my regular life circumstances, people and activities was an alluring and intoxicating elixir allowing me to see what is important more clearly. I made a commitment to my self to do it more often and differently each time. This world is a big

What is your getaway from the everyday (sounds like an ad :)) that allows you to gain perspective in your life? Cut the cord, less is more!

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Frogs

A close friend sent me this, exactly when I needed it of course (the universe always provides)! Enjoy!

 Once upon a time there was a bunch of tiny frogs….. Who arranged a running competition.

 The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower

 A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants. …

 The race began. Honestly, no one in crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. You heard statements such as: “Oh, WAY too difficult!!’ 

‘”They will NEVER make it to the top” or “Not a chance that they will succeed.. The tower is too high” 

The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one.Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher…. The crowd continued to yell,  “It is too difficult!!! No one will make it!’ 

More tiny frogs got tired and gave up  But one continued higher and higher and higher….
This one wouldn’t give up!    At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who, after a big effort, was the only one who reached the top

THEN all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it?
A contestant asked the tiny frog how he had found the strength to succeed and reach the goal

It turned out…. That the winner was DEAF!!!! 

Never listen to other people’s tendencies to be negative or pessimistic. …   because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you — the ones you have in your heart!

Always think of the power words haveBecause everything you hear and read will affect your actions ThereforeALWAYS be…. POSITIVEAnd above allBe DEAF when people tell YOU that you cannot fulfill your dreams!

Always think :God (the Universe) and I can do this!”

Pass this message on to 5 ‘tiny frogs’ you care about. Give them some motivation!! !

 Most people walk in and out of your life……but FRIENDS Leave footprints in your heart.

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“Smooth” is For Scotch and Skin . Not Life!


             This week was full of contrasts (contrast is an Abraham Hicks term for “feeling down”, (it also signifies the differences between the emotions) that challenged me but ultimately made me stronger. One of the days was a classic, “Everything that can possibly wrong will” type of day. It culminated with the forgetting and loss of my cell phone.

           The next day was the complete opposite where “Everything I touched turned to gold” I feel I had 100% responsibility in both. When we are down (#9-#22 on the ES) we attract other “down ” thoughts, ideas and experiences. when we are up we attract great ideas people and circumstances.

            Most people’s objective/goal in life is to have a “smooth” life, one in which there isn’t much turbulence or massive up and down swings. What could be better than a smooth life right? Having this approach to life is impossible for the simple reason that life is filled with uncertainty, variety and complexities. To use a metaphor, life is like the ocean. An ocean is powerful, stable, serene, filled with abundance but also has nasty storms, currents and waves that can crush weak ships.

Those people who attempt (it’s impossible!) to live a “smooth life” without too many contrasts often end up much more often “crushed to pieces” by the ocean which doesn’t play by “their” rules.  Life can throw you a multi-million dollar lottery ticket, a surprise and wanted baby, a divorce, deadly disease and a friend’s passing all in the same breath all on a sunny day.

What to do? The first step is to be realistic that life is an ocean and that the objective is to live with full freedom, passion and joy (this means building a ship (life) able to maneuver and handle the turbulence. The only way to do that is to enjoy the voyage by living passionately. Realizing that the contrasts are what make life so breath taking. You couldn’t enjoy the highs if there weren’t lows. Life is also like the ocean in that it has cycles and seasons. I believe our passions and passion for life help us ride out the storms and enjoy the placid days equally. What will you do to prepare your “life” ship for the reality of life’s ocean? Realizing that life is a wild ride is half the battle!

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The Cottage

Having had the pleasure of visiting my close friend Chris (thank you so much CP) up at a wonderful lakeside cottage up in Haliburton I thought I’d write my thoughts since return.

  1. I need a cottage! It reconnects me with nature and puts my crazy “do,do,do” lifestyle in perspective.
  2. My dog loves a lake to chase sticks and balls in!
  3. We don’t eat so well when there are chips, pop and beer around all the time!
  4. The stress of the big city is palpable upon arrival beginning with traffic
  5. People in the country are so laid back, it’s nice
  6. Swimming in a lake is still an amazing experience after many years absence
  7. Cool nights by a campfire rule
  8. A nice nap in a cool cottage afternoon is a blissful experience with little to do or complete
  9. Playing cards with friends connects deeply
  10. We worry much too much about things we have little to no control over
  11.  Coming back from a short 3 day vacation, it’s hard to restart the momentum we had, the mental, spiritual and physical adjustments can take a few days
  12. I’ve already made plans to go to another cottage in 2 weeks, darn, I think I have cottage fever                ********************************************************************************************************

What we Focus on Grows

                What we resist persists, what we ignore haunts us no more. It is a common misconception that the more we focus on a problem the faster we resolve it. The Law of Attraction says the complete opposite. I know when I have what I “perceive as negative news” I am tempted to “talk it out” with everyone I know. I have found in the last few years however that what works for me (borrow it if it resonates with you) is to intensely speak to a few people. I find I find my own solutions as I talk it through. Once that initial blast is done however, I give the matter very little additional attention.
I have found that talking about the “negative” only brings more negative thoughts and ideas and very little new insight or better feeling thoughts.  Remember, a negative event is rarely what it seems, and rarely as bad as you make it out to be initially. I love the following little parable I have heard.
“In a long ago time of strife and war, a Chinese man wished his son to have a long and healthy life.
One day his son fell off his horse and broke his leg.
As the city folk learned the “terrible” news, they told the man, “what a terrible thing happened to your son.”
The man replied calmly, “It is not a terrible thing, I don’t know why but I know this will turn out to be a good thing!”
The next day, the army came into town and took away all the men except his son.”
Next time “bad” news “befalls” (we attract all we receive actually) you, tell yourself, this is all meant to be and just because you don’t know why doesn’t mean it’s not for your best. You just don’t see “why” yet.

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Popular Animal Related Sayings and the Law of Attraction

I thought this week it would be fun to analyze some popular sayings related to animals through the lens of the law of Attraction. Some of these were real brain twisters hope you enjoy them. If you would like to challenge or add to my points drop me an email!

So here goes!
1. There are plenty more fish in the sea.

The Law of Attraction would agree and add that with the right emotional level you can hang out and attract with only those you are similar to as your vibrations match. For example, if you have recently been dumped, it was probably because there is someone even better waiting and you had a lesson to learn.

2. Don’t count your chickens until they have hatched.

Here the Law of Attraction (LoA)  would disagree If you really believe many will hatch then they will, if you don’t believe many will then they won’t. This is a fear-based and “scarcity” perspective (the world is abundant!)

3. A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush.

Here the LoA would disagree. Visualizing what you want (but don’t have yet) will attract it. Feeling like you already have it ensures it is on its way and feels better to boot. On the other hand if you are only looking at what you have you won’t attract much more.

4. Let sleeping dogs lie.

Here the LoA would agree. What you focus on grows, every time you bring up negatives more will come and your vibration drops. Many times ignoring or NOT focusing on something you have deemed “negative” will remove it or at least diminish its impact on you.
5. Early bird gets the worm.

Here the LoA would disagree. This dictum argues early and massive action will beat out competition.  The LoA maintains there is abundance everywhere, and your having it does not remove it for someone else. The LoA is firm in its stipulation that 99% of action that is out of alignment (not from real feeling good emotion) will fail. So aligned action will get the worms no matter the time and many of them as the action comes from a great feeling place.
6. Kill 2 birds with one stone.

Here the LoA would agree and raise you a few more birds! We’ve all been in that state of “flow” when everything seems to be going well. We get the promotion, feel healthy and get the perfect partner all seemingly “out of the blue”. Usually we were feeling great just before and had visualized all we wanted. It appears “out of the blue” to those who don’t know how the LoA works.
7. You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.

The LoA agrees. Forcing yourself or anyone else to do something they don’t want to will never provide a meaningful long term positive outcome.  All action should be aligned action from an emotion of optimism or higher on the emotional scale (numbers 6 to 1).

Remember: The definition of suffering = worrying about things/people out of our control.

8. Take the bull by the horns.

I don’t know about this one! On the one hand, moving towards what you want is taking charge. On the other, too much action out of alignment will get you tossed into the crowd or gored to death. Like a bullfighter dances with the bull, LoA says to be easy fluid and allow.

This was fun! I’d love your feedback and/or comments.

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Inner Calm in the Outside Storm and Saying “No” Powerfully

       As I am sitting looking out my 23rd floor penthouse window, the snow is falling in a driving wind. A perfect metaphor for my note this week to you. My building is doing major renovations replacing the existing balconies with new, (debatably) better looking balconies. The jackhammers are wailing outside my window as I sit with ear plugs in my ears a hat on my head and my pets somewhat (understandably) freaked out at the cacophony and powerful vibration. It just happens I’m working a lot more from home this week! Add to all that 2 fire alarms in less than 12 hours. I would completely justified in being frustrated, and raging. The OUTER WORLD (of events and circumstances) is a complete disaster around me here, but here’s the thing, I’m not!

        As I watched the other people in the lobby reacting to their emotions, fears and general vibrations based on the OUTSIDE WORLD, I was very calm, certain and secure in my INNER WORLD (of thoughts and emotions) that ALL IS WELL. I’m somewhat surprised at how well I’m reacting to all this disruption. Once you really, really, REALLY realize that pushing against that which you don’t control doesn’t change the situation, in fact it aggravates your vibration as “what you focus on grows”. Don’t get me wrong, I will be leaving ground zero for a few hours this afternoon but overall, calm reigns. I challenge you to really start noticing your (over) reactions to the OUTSIDE WORLD, and remain calm and centered in your INSIDE WORLD. Yoga is great and all but why not always have access to that calm, still place in every moment of your life? Now that’s freedom!

I got a call today from someone who I have been trying to begin a project with for 14 months. He finally had a project for me worth a fair amount of money that I would have literally jumped at as little as 2 months ago. It felt great to turn the project down and telling him that, “I don’t feel it in my heart anymore and all MY projects are taking off and I want to keep working on those!” I had to be truthful with him and it was a relief. Living authentically is a skill like any other. He reacted very well to my assertion and wished me luck as I did him.

Challenge: What will you say “NO” to (to pursue what really jazzes you) powerfully this next week AND feel great about it!

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